All I wanted was....

While at the store a couple days ago, I saw some "pomegranate-blueberry" juice. It sounded awesome, so I bought a bottle of it.
I'm about to try it for the very first time, and will then blog about my reaction.
Before I start pouring it into the glass, though, let me pause to make a list of my hopes and expectations:

1. I hope it tastes so deliciously fruity that I have hallucinations of blueberries talking to me.
2. I hope the blueberries speak English, otherwise I'll have no idea what the hell they're saying.
3. I hope all the cells in my body are so incredibly awe-struck that they never even consider the idea of becoming sick, ever again, even if I am within 3 feet of a person whose head is rotating and spewing snot as thick as pea soup.
4. I hope a million dollars magically appears in front of me. Or behind me. Someplace where I can easily find it. I'm not picky.

I suppose I could've listed other things as well, but I don't want to be unrealistic.
Ok, everybody ready? I'm getting the juice....
Pouring the juice....
Tasting the juice.....

Hmmmm...
Ok.
Well, the aroma is sort of like a multivitamin.
The initial flavor is sort of like... a multivitamin.
The aftertaste is semi-fruity, but nothing exceptional.
I detect absolutely no blueberry flavor whatsoever.
There are no hallucinations, no million dollars, and I just overheard my cells discussing the possibility of Bird Flu.
.