Thursday, November 22, 2007

Thirteen Things That Would Be Bad To Find In Your Refrigerator

I'm so excited! I got accepted as a contributing author to this humor blog called "Burt Reynolds' Mustache". (Affectionately referred to as "The Stache.")
My first post will appear tomorrow, Friday November 23rd. I will continue to post there on the 23rd of each month. I'll try to remember to include links to the posts I do there, so you can all click over and read my stuff (if you want to, that is. :)
My first post will be all about Thanksgiving leftovers. Specifically, ones that have been left in there so long that they've developed their own civilization.

With that in mind, I bring you this list of thirteen OTHER things that would be bad to find in your refrigerator:

1. Dead rat
2. Radioactive Cesium 137
3. Dirty underwear
4. Zombies
5. A black hole
6. Your own kidneys
7. An angry skunk
8. A flatulent leprechaun
9. The angel of death
10. Pubic hair
11. 30-foot anaconda
12. Fleas
13. Larry King

Bonus: A pubic hair from the dirty underwear of a flatulent leprechaun who just ate Larry King's kidneys.
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jantics: 13 things I promise NOT to say on the air when I co-host The Mo Show next week!
Jantrails: 13 things I have never done (Though I really wish I could do #7).
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15 comments:

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Did your Stache make a recent Rocky Horror Picture Show video?
If so, it's beyond spooky.

Janna said...

Wow, I haven't seen this video...
And it's been years since I've seen the movie, but I loved it. It's so strange; how could I NOT love it?

katherine. said...

one for sure...maybe two...

Matt-Man said...

I always keep my kidneys in the fridge. I let them marinate in Wild Irish Rose. It avoids shock to them when I put them back in and begin to drink. Cheers Janna..

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Is that your Stache? If so, he lives where I do!

Janna said...

Katherine: It isn't Larry King, is it?

Matt-man: Do you put them back in all by yourself?

GoingLikeSixty: Wow, this is great! You're making no sense and so I'm imagining you completely drunk off your ass, unable to deal with the pressures of relatives on Thanksgiving, so you've hidden in a coat closet with a fifth of Jack Daniels and a laptop computer....

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Heh.

Not yet.

Is this the your Stache?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gjgkA4V-qzY

Janna said...

GoingLikeSixty: LOL! No, not at all! The stache I'm referring to is a humor blog. There's a different contributing writer for every day of the month.
Here's a link to it, even though my post doesn't go up til Friday the 23rd.
I'll be posting there on the 23rd of each month.

Mr. Fabulous said...

Where else are you supposed to keep your pubic hair? I'm confused...

Anonymous said...

If I were attacked by either zombies or flatulent leprechauns, I would consider the fridge a valid crypt for either.

GoingLikeSixty.com said...

Laffing at an old man? Why I oughta...

I thought he was gonna write for you.

I'll have that drink now.

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: If you absolutely must keep it in the fridge, at least store it in tightly sealed Tupperware.

Anonymous: True, but then you'd never be able to open the fridge ever again, or else they'd attack you and steal your soul or eat your brains (or whatever it is that flatulent leprechauns do). So you'd be completely S.O.L. the next time you had a craving for leftovers, or cold goat's milk, or whatever.

GoingLikeSixty: Wow, holy crap, you DID misread that, didn't you? That's ok. Just keep drinking. Stay in the closet.
Wait, that came out wrong....

Preposterous Ponderings said...

WTF? If I ever found any of that shit in my fridge I'd blow the S.O.B up.

Travis said...

I don't think I'd mind the zombies so much, as long as they didn't leave empty juice containers.

Janna said...

Preposterous: Even the kidneys? 'Cuz you kinda NEED those...

Travis: It's nice that you have found a way to peacefully co-exist with zombies. I'll try not to say "I told you so" after they attack you and eat your brains.