Sunday, October 7, 2007

Ten things I did NOT do at the wedding (and reception) I attended yesterday:

1. Begin singing Monty Python songs during the moments of prayer
2. Ask the person next to me how many brussels sprouts they can fit in their ass
3. Scream "Why, oh dear lord WHY the hell am I still single and alone at the ripe old age of 37?"
4. Attach Wal-Mart price stickers to random items in the room
5. Grope a stranger and then say "Oh, sorry; I thought you were my cousin."
6. Dance with my alternate personalities and then have a fight about who's going to lead
7. Look suspiciously at the pastor and say "Didn't I see you on 60 Minutes last week?"
8. Hide under the table and begin meowing
9. Swim in the chocolate fountain (though I wanted to)
10. Die of a hideous fatal disease which strikes without warning and kills its victims within seconds
.

9 comments:

Square1 said...

Darn. All of those sound like fun!

golfwidow said...

If I ever renew my vows, I think I'm going to do all those things.

metalmom said...

When my kids get married, I'm inviting you to do 3, 5, and 7! (And maybe 69 if the ushers are hot!)

crazy working mom said...

Whew, glad you were a good girl!

Travis said...

I would say that was a fairly successful wedding then.

Desert Songbird said...

I'd swim in the fountain as long as a hot guy joined me...

Cincy Diva said...

No matter how dull the function, a choolate fountain always makes things festive!

amisare waswerebeen said...

I'll have to remember this amazing show of restraint the next time I'm at a wedding. Keep it up.

I'm starting a new blog, BookWise and Loving It. I hope you'll check it out.

Janna said...

Square1: I almost did #3.....

Golfwidow: Be sure to tape it!

Metalmom: Can Johnny Depp be one of the ushers?

CrazyWorkingMom: It was difficult!

Travis: I was impressed, yeah!

Desert Songbird: I have dibs on Johnny Depp.

Cincy Diva: So true!

Amisare: Thanks and good luck with your new blog!