The Scrabulous Battle

If you've known me for any length of time, you know I love playing Scrabble. I really get into it. I am like a crazed shark who smells blood in the water. I play for keeps. I take no prisoners. Well, ok, maybe a FEW good-looking prisoners to hang from my bedroom ceiling in a big metal cage.
But that's beside the point.
Facebook has an application where you can play Scrabble online. They call it "Scrabulous." And I have gotten hooked.

Fab is also on Facebook, and he also plays Scrabulous.
I found out that we both take pride in our playing, so we challenged each other to a tournament.
Best out of seven.
We even made a wager.: If HE won, I had to write a blog post where I listed something about him for every letter of the alphabet. If I won, he had to do a particular song parody I'd requested. (I won't tell you which one).

The Scrabulous battle went like this:

I won the first one.
He won the second one.
I won the third one.
I also won the fourth.
He won the fifth.
He also won the sixth.
So, by then we were tied, three and three. Whoever won the seventh game was destined to be the grand champion exalted ruler of the universe for all eternity!

Or something like that.

It was so exciting I peed my pants at least twice.
Wait... forget I said that.

Are you ready to hear who won? Are ya? Huh? Are ya?
It was meeeeeee! Yay! :)

And believe me, I was worried for awhile there. Fab can be a VERY formidable opponent when he is in "the zone". That fifth game was absolute HELL. He cleared his tray four times, three of which were on triple word scores. And one of those was on TWO triple word scores. He got over a hundred points for that word. ("LAUNDERS")
His final score for that fifth game was over five hundred points. I felt like I'd been kicked in the stomach.
I applaud Fab's awesome Scrabble skills. He is very good.

Soooooo, naturally I'm excited about getting to hear my parody, right?
I figured he'd have it ready by the end of the week. After all, it only took him a day or two to post his video response to Turnbaby's wager, right?

Alas.

Below is a copy of our recent e-mail thread (printed with his permission).
My words are printed in BLUE, his are printed in RED.
(The "Shakespeare book" I mention is in reference to a gift I sent him last week. It was a book of insults compiled from the works of Shakespeare, complete with their "translations" into modern English.)

*********************************************
Final tally:
Fab: 3
Me: 4
I look forward to seeing/hearing your parody posted on Drivel soon. :)
*********************************************
Well, soon is a relative term... I have owed Robin a song parody for six months. I think I have owed Shelli a karaoke song for nine months. You can't rush creative genius, you know :)
*********************************************
MONTHS???
*********************************************
LOL You can't rush a parody you know. If you do, you get a lousy parody. You have to FEEL it...
*********************************************
In that case, I am screwed.
Have you EVER really "felt" me?
I wonder if Turnbaby would help me file a lawsuit...
*********************************************
I think she does family law. Are we related?
*********************************************
We are all related in the greater family of mankind.
Besides, it's about time she learned how to do a breach-of-contract lawsuit.
You can get Mrs. Fab as your lawyer, I can get Turnbaby as mine, and we can all go out for a lovely dinner or something.
I want crab cakes.
*********************************************
I like crab cakes!
*********************************************
I read through that Shakespeare book before sending it to you, but I can't remember if there was a section for people who conveniently weasel out of stuff.
LOL.
Dammit.
Forsooth, methinks I have been tricked.
*********************************************
Not at all! I have a very heavy backlog of projects. I promise I will do it! I swear!
*********************************************
.
Look on the bright side, everyone. This means I get to have Fab hanging from my bedroom ceiling in a big steel cage.
And, really, when you come right down to it, that's all I've ever wanted out of life anyway.
.