Tuesday, October 2, 2007

The Tale Of Blurfy

Once upon a time there was a princess named Blurfy.
Blurfy hated her name, and always suspected that her parents named her after someone's dog... or possibly a gerbil.

One day, while wandering around the kingdom in her new princess gown, trying to look as royal as possible, she happened to find a frog with a little crown on its head.

"Hi," said the frog.

Blurfy gasped. "You can talk!"

"Indeed. I'm a prince. There was a spell placed on me by a real bitch a few months ago. Er, I mean, a witch. Actually, she was both. Anyway, kiss me and I'll change back into my human form!"

"Kiss a frog?"

"Hey, I'll make it worth your while. I've got plenty of tongue action going on, if you know what I mean. Say, aren't you Princess Blurfy?"

"Yes."

"I know why your parents named you that."

The princess gasped. "You do? Tell me! Was it a dog? A gerbil? What?"

"First, kiss me. Then I'll tell you."

So, Blurfy picked up the frog, and gave him a demure little kiss.
He zipped his tongue into her mouth, and quickly back out again.

She recoiled in disgust. "Ew, that tasted like dead flies!"

The frog started to answer but then a magical transformation began as he morphed back into his human form. In less than half a minute, he became a very handsome prince, with a twinkle in his eyes and a smile that made her weak in the knees.

"So, um, wanna go, um, talk or something?" Blurfy suggested hopefully.

"Actually, I've got to get going. My girlfriend lives over in the next kingdom, and she's probably wondering what the hell happened to me."

"Your WHAT? You didn't say anything about having a girlfriend!"

"I know. No one wanted to kiss me if I told them that part."

He started walking Southeast, in the direction of the nearest kingdom.

"But wait a minute! What about my name? You said you'd tell me how I got my name! Did my parents name me after a.... after something?"

"No," he answered, without bothering to turn around. "They just hated you."

And that's the story of how Blurfy decided to become an evil witch, eventually going back in time and turning the prince into a frog, thus creating a never-ending loop in the space-time continuum.

The End (and the beginning... and the end...).

16 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

I remember first hearing this story when I was a little boy, and it changed my life in ways to painful to repeat.

Kara said...

Being a princess sucks ! You have to be all sunshine and happiness, you have to sing with the little birdies and be kind to those kinky little dwarves.

I would much prefer to be the evil witch....casting spells on those snotty little pricesses, sending entire kingdoms into deep sleep for centuries, cooking with eye of newts and batwings !

~chuckle~ not to mention that I like wearing black

Kara said...

oh btw - it's grainne...~L~ the wicked witch of the south

Square1 said...

Oh I love fairy tales gone awry. This will have a smile on my face all day!

Mo said...

Blurfy the Wicked Witch LIVES!

Rayne said...

This is fantastic! I love fairy tales with a twist.

Marilyn said...

That was fun... I think I'll name my next dog Blurfy.

Meloncutter said...

I am setting here naked with a bag of cheetos. Could you at least have put something in there about Blurfy and an F cup bra?

Later Y'all.

Steven said...

That is heartwarming! Little children everywhere must read about Blurfy...

metalmom said...

I love that story. I was going to take a nap, but now I'M caught up in the loop! I will comment and comment and comment....

Cincy Diva said...

reminds me of the Fractured Fairy Tales cartoons when I was a iddy biddy diva.
By the by....have they checked your dosage as of late? LOL!
Good story...with a moral.

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: Just like when you learned the easter bunny was a sham... (You DID eventually learn that, right?)

Kara: Sunshine and happiness is definitely overrated.

Square1: I like when they go awry too. :)

Morgen: Damn right! :)

Rayne: They're better with a twist, aren't they?

Marilyn: For some reason that sounds like a dog that would barf a lot.

Meloncutter: LOL... you loved my cheetos comment, didn't you? :)

Steve: It should be required reading in the schools.

Metalmom: And I will answer and answer and answer...

Cincy Diva: I loved the Fractured Fairy Tales! I remember those! :)

Robin said...

That was beautiful. If I ever have children i will tell them that at bedtime.

Janna said...

Robin: Excellent.

Natalie said...

Poor Blurfy. Her name isn't all that bad.

Janna said...

Natalie: Well, it WILL be hard for her to find personalized key chains...