Friday, May 11, 2007

Sharing my wisdom

Wrist. Sore. Poke. Stab. Ouch. Constant.
One more day one more day one more day and I can get this thing taken out of my wrist vein. Onemoreday.
Infatuated newsprint hobbies virtually decapitate eyebrow holders if bald goldfish perpetually cruelly ignore Janna. I can tell the difference, don't think I don't notice. There used to be daily luscious connectivity demonstrations of warm oxygen bonding but now there is blankness and glacial occipital separation ostinato which sears noticeably into unsheathed neurons much like a cattle brand that says "Eat At Joe's." After all, Joe has been dead for years.

Mr. Fab doesn't like lemurs anymore. But he does like pepper jack cheese.

If I had balls, I bet they would itch.

Bonus lesson: If you can only pull your pants down one-handed, which takes awhile, and you're on antibiotics which give you diarrhea, whatever you do, don't try to fart. Trust me on this.

6 comments:

Morgen said...

Everyone is too scared to comment here, after the vivid visuals about the diarrhea fart...
So I will just say: good grief you're getting a lot of blog mileage from one two liter bottle encounter!!!

Morgen said...

PS the activa yogurt has a very good mixed berry, and the peach is even better but I can't remember if you like peach or not. It really does help 'regularize' you down there after antibiotics!

metalmom said...

Since I am NOT a bald goldfish, I will not ignore you poor Janna. If your balls DO begin to itch, I will be a bud and scratch for you, However, I must insist on payment being made in U.S. currency and not in pesos, silly woman!

Lynda said...

yeah, I think Mr. Fab must have had a falling out with the lemurs. So sad.

Lynda said...

Oh, and after this is done, I have a feeling there is a lot of laundry ahead of you. I don't know why.

Janna said...

Morgen: Blame the Sierra Mist and the antibiotics! As for the yogurt, my pharmacy information paper thingy says not to have high-calcium products while taking this antibiotic. So no yogurt for awhile!

Metalmom: How about Canadian dollars?

Lynda: That is such a mystery! Do you think someone may have walked in on them...? Perhaps this whole "lemur-distancing" thing is only a farce and he actually meets with them in seedy motels on the weekends... Boy, I'd hate to be the maid who has to clean up after that.

Lynda: We must not speak of laundry. Sshhhhhh.