Friday, May 11, 2007

Sharing my wisdom

Wrist. Sore. Poke. Stab. Ouch. Constant.
One more day one more day one more day and I can get this thing taken out of my wrist vein. Onemoreday.
Infatuated newsprint hobbies virtually decapitate eyebrow holders if bald goldfish perpetually cruelly ignore Janna. I can tell the difference, don't think I don't notice. There used to be daily luscious connectivity demonstrations of warm oxygen bonding but now there is blankness and glacial occipital separation ostinato which sears noticeably into unsheathed neurons much like a cattle brand that says "Eat At Joe's." After all, Joe has been dead for years.

Mr. Fab doesn't like lemurs anymore. But he does like pepper jack cheese.

If I had balls, I bet they would itch.

Bonus lesson: If you can only pull your pants down one-handed, which takes awhile, and you're on antibiotics which give you diarrhea, whatever you do, don't try to fart. Trust me on this.


Morgen said...

Everyone is too scared to comment here, after the vivid visuals about the diarrhea fart...
So I will just say: good grief you're getting a lot of blog mileage from one two liter bottle encounter!!!

Morgen said...

PS the activa yogurt has a very good mixed berry, and the peach is even better but I can't remember if you like peach or not. It really does help 'regularize' you down there after antibiotics!

metalmom said...

Since I am NOT a bald goldfish, I will not ignore you poor Janna. If your balls DO begin to itch, I will be a bud and scratch for you, However, I must insist on payment being made in U.S. currency and not in pesos, silly woman!

Lynda said...

yeah, I think Mr. Fab must have had a falling out with the lemurs. So sad.

Lynda said...

Oh, and after this is done, I have a feeling there is a lot of laundry ahead of you. I don't know why.

Janna said...

Morgen: Blame the Sierra Mist and the antibiotics! As for the yogurt, my pharmacy information paper thingy says not to have high-calcium products while taking this antibiotic. So no yogurt for awhile!

Metalmom: How about Canadian dollars?

Lynda: That is such a mystery! Do you think someone may have walked in on them...? Perhaps this whole "lemur-distancing" thing is only a farce and he actually meets with them in seedy motels on the weekends... Boy, I'd hate to be the maid who has to clean up after that.

Lynda: We must not speak of laundry. Sshhhhhh.