Thirteen things I did NOT do in the waiting room at the hospital yesterday:

1) Point at empty chair and say "For crying out loud, are YOU here AGAIN??"
2) Ask strangers to dance with me.
3) Play Twister "solitaire" on the floor (with an invisible mat, of course)
4) Point at complete stranger and shout "YOU'RE the reason it burns when I pee!!"
5) Ask the nearest doctor if we can all send out for pizza
6) Turn to male stranger and say "I have a ballerina costume that might fit you."
7) Stare at nearest child and say "You know they have needles a foot long in there, right?"
8) Re-enact three random TV commercials... over and over and over...
9) Suddenly look shocked and say "Oh, NO; I've forgotten how to conjugate Russian verbs!!"
10) See how many old magazines I can fit into my bra
11) Make up limericks about amoebic dysentery *
12) Yodel
13) Shake head sadly and mutter "I KNEW I shouldn't have stuck that avocado in there."

*There once was a patient named Sherri
Who always had bad dysentery
Sometimes for a laugh
She would spray all the staff
And their laundry became rather scary
.