Thursday, April 26, 2007

Thirteen things I did NOT do in the waiting room at the hospital yesterday:

1) Point at empty chair and say "For crying out loud, are YOU here AGAIN??"
2) Ask strangers to dance with me.
3) Play Twister "solitaire" on the floor (with an invisible mat, of course)
4) Point at complete stranger and shout "YOU'RE the reason it burns when I pee!!"
5) Ask the nearest doctor if we can all send out for pizza
6) Turn to male stranger and say "I have a ballerina costume that might fit you."
7) Stare at nearest child and say "You know they have needles a foot long in there, right?"
8) Re-enact three random TV commercials... over and over and over...
9) Suddenly look shocked and say "Oh, NO; I've forgotten how to conjugate Russian verbs!!"
10) See how many old magazines I can fit into my bra
11) Make up limericks about amoebic dysentery *
13) Shake head sadly and mutter "I KNEW I shouldn't have stuck that avocado in there."

There once was a patient named Sherri

Who always had bad dysentery
Sometimes for a laugh
She would spray all the staff
And their laundry became rather scary


Cincy Diva said...

Great minds think alike

I was thinking this:

There once was a man named gary
Who always had bad dysentary
He'd spray all the staff
And sit there and laugh
And everyone thought he was scary

Janna said...

Cincy Diva: Yes! Great minds indeed! We really need to write a book of these. :)

Mr. Fabulous said...

I think we're related. Are we related? I think we are.

Matt-Man said...

Glad to see yo uon the mend Janna. Cheers

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: Does that mean we can't sleep together unless we move to Arkansas?

Matt-man: Slowly but surely! :)

Lynda said...

I am disappointed. I would have at least thought you would have time for #1, 2, 4, 5, 6 and 7.

Natalie said...

excellent limerick. I almost pooped myself. In theory of course.

onionboy said...

here is my attempt at a dysentary limerick, with a bonus haiku...

such is a tale of woe
fluids and solids do flow
out of my rear
onto a canvas that's near
and they call it art nouveau

i sit on my throne
fluids pumped into my arm
will it be enough?

Desert Songbird said...

The leg might be screwed up, but the mind is as...screwed up as ever! (Or was I supposed to say as sharp as ever?....hmmmm....whatever, you know what I mean....right?)

Janna said...

Lynda: What can I say. It was a busy day.

Natalie: Of course!

Onionboy: LOL!! Do you hate art nouveau as much as you hate new age music?

Desert Songbird: The mind may never change. At least I hope not. :)

Steven said...

You are pure comedic (and sick) humor! I LOVE it!

Marilyn said...

Wow, you should go back now that you're feeling better and ask for do overs.

Janna said...

Steve: Glad you liked it. :)

Marilyn: That would be cool!!! :)

Adam said...

Heh...this post made me laugh. I kinda want to try some of these.

Lynda said...

I think the next time I am at the doctor, I will whip out my camera phone and say, "I gotta get a picture for my blog."

Janna said...

Adam: Try as many of them as you would like, and report back to me afterward. I'd love to know how it went. :)

Janna said...

Lynda: A picture of the doctor, you mean, or of the room, or of you in an embarrassingly flimsy paper gown, or what?

Danielle said...

That limerick is hilarious.
I love 8, and 9.

Thanks for yet another smile, sweets.

Janna said...

Danielle: Glad you liked it. :)

Lynda said...

Anything doctor related. But I went today, and didn't do it.

I thought about it....

Janna said...

Lynda: Do it next time! You can put funny captions under the pictures when you post them!