Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Super Janna

I just got a SPAM message in my e-mail with the following subject:
"Activate super-human abilities without effort: new technology!"
This made the following thoughts come to mind:1) Without effort? Cool! It's about time they did something for all the lazy superheroes out there! How many times have I been near a bus teetering off the edge of a cliff, only to shrug and walk away muttering "Ehh. Too much work."
2) What superhuman abilities would I like to have? Here is a list of what I think might come in handy.
.....a) Flying: This would come in quite handy when gas prices are high, although lately it's been so COLD that any flying would likely result in a lazy frozen superhero crashing abruptly to the ground and shattering into icy chunks.
.....b) Climate control: Finally, a way to keep a bubble of 60-70 degree air around me at all times. No more sweating in summer or shivering in winter. And then I could create a perpetual cloud of 90 degree air around George Bush, so he'd say "Huhhh, hey, Laura, maybe those god-hating liberals ARE right about global warming after all..."
.....c) Shapeshifting: At last, a way to be a size 4, overnight! Pass me the designer stuff! Pass me a whole bunch of money to PAY for the designer stuff!
.....d) Animal communication: So when my cats say "meow", I will know if they mean "Hello," or "Pet me," or "Feed me immediately," or "You jerk, there are four turds in my litter box and I want them gone NOW."

5 comments:

Steven Novak said...

Is it wrong of me that the entire time I was reading I kept looking at the Superman figure?

I want that. ;)

Steve~

Matt-Man said...

I just want a new liver...

Natalie said...

I would really like to be able to fly again.

Travis said...

I kept thinking about the Superman figure and wondering why in the name of all things powerful they couldn't dress him in a suit that fits.

Just look at those sleeves!! How's a Superman supposed to do super stuff if his sleeves drag down over his super hands?????

Morgen said...

Oh I had a good one, until it flew out of my head by reading Natalie's comment: "again"
ha!