Wednesday, December 6, 2006

The scourge of anti-fart discrimination

O-kaaayyy...
Morgen sent me a link to THIS ARTICLE, titled "Flatulence Leads To Grounding Of Plane."
(Janna puts on a completely innocent face with big-lashed 'Disney forest-creature' eyes) Why Morgen, I have no idea why this article would make you think of me....
Anyway, here's the short version of what happened: There's a lady on a plane. She farts. She strikes a match to cover up the smell. Other people smell the match, and they get all worried that it must be a bomb. So they land the plane immediately (!!), and then they discover that there was no bomb, it was just a lady farting and striking a match. They actually call the FBI.
Here's the part that infuriates me: When the plane takes off again, they won't let the lady get back on the plane! They actually LEAVE HER BEHIND. What the heck?!????!!! All she did was fart! She's NOT a terrorist, you freaky paranoid jerks! She farted and lit a match. So the hell what? Let her back on the PLANE. She might stink, but she's obviously harmless! Get a grip, people! Get some common sense!
Let's all protest by farting in the general direction of the FBI headquarters, and the aviation industry, and... oh, heck, go ahead and fart anywhere you want.
Just be sure to light a match afterward.

3 comments:

Morgiana Le Fey said...

...oh. my. wow.

Morgen said...

Heaven forbid she just let her seat-mates smell her bacon, bean, and broccoli casserole fartola.

Of course, if Janna was on the plane, she wouldn't have needed a match.

She'd have just blown out a bulk-head in the plane, causing it to rapidly decompress and suck out all those complaining match-smellers into the stratosphere...

Cincy Diva said...

But it was a bomb. it was a weapon of mass destruction...an F bomb. Deadler than an H bomb, more painful than mustard gas