Monday, December 15, 2014

Me and my ankle

I posted this to Facebook, and figured I might as well post it here too.
Bear with me.

Probably no one will take the time to read this except my close friends, but I still need to write this so I can vent and cry a little.

My ankle's gotten so much worse in the past few weeks. I've had problems with it ever since childhood, but nothing even remotely as painful as this.

When I had it x-rayed last year, the doctor told me it was likely a form of club-foot that I've had my entire life. Mom didn't take me to a doctor for it when I was young, so it never got treated. (There are various reasons I'm not able to have surgery for it, which would take too long to explain right now.) They told me it would keep getting worse as the years went by.... they were right.

It hurts so bad it feels like I actually broke something or ripped something.

I mentioned it the past two times I went to the doctor, but they didn't do anything. I'm not even sure they wrote it down. It was like "Meh, let's just ignore it and see if it goes away."

At the concert last Friday I had to wear my usual leg brace, plus I used my cane to hobble around. Embarrassing to be on stage and have hundreds of people seeing that.

The weekend was so bad I could hardly get out of bed.

In the privacy of my own home, I have to have a cane in each hand just to make it possible to move from room to room without too much pain. When I move down the hallway like this, I feel like some giant four-footed animal... or maybe one of those big robot things from Star Wars (Imperial Walkers).
The only thing that makes walking remotely bearable is the canes, plus wrapping the leg brace extra tight so my ankle can't wobble around too much. If it wobbles or bends at all, it's excruciating.

I called the doctor's office this morning and explained to them that I need to make an appointment right away to get this diagnosed and treated.

My appointment is tomorrow morning (Tuesday Dec 16th) at 11:00am.

I hope they take me seriously this time.
If they ask "So, how long has this been going on?" I will make sure to say "Y'know, I've mentioned it the past TWO times I've been in. Look in the book and see when my two previous appointments were. I told you about it at least twice, but nobody did anything to help."

In addition to the right ankle issues, I dropped a shampoo bottle on my LEFT foot and hurt that so bad I might have broken some of the little bones in there.
There's no "good" foot to step on any more.

I'm tired of it hurting just to walk twenty feet away.
In the middle of the night, when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, I've actually laid there and cried for awhile, dreading the inevitability of having to get up and hobble to the toilet with a cane in each hand so I can pee.

I usually try to be a peaceful, fun, good-natured, semi-humorous person who is pleasant company, and most of my friends have no idea just how bad things have gotten.

I can't handle this for much longer.


Marcia said...

I hope tomorrow is the day the doctors listen and look for a solution. For about $25.00, you can get a toilet with adjustable legs and put it right next to the bed, only a step or two away. Don't ask me how I know.
Take care- I love your blog; you have a great sense of humor.

nonamedufus said...

This is terrible, Janna. I have neuropathy issues in my feet so I can identify with what you're going through. I'm glad you still have your sense of humour. You really know how to put your best foot forward. Er,,,sorry.

Janna said...

Marcia: For an additional $25, can I get a male nurse who happens to be a clone of Johnny Depp?

nonamedufus: I'll have to put a best kidney forward instead. Or an elbow, maybe. It's hard to see which one is my best.