Thursday, March 28, 2013

Because Jello is never quite the same afterward

Things I would rather not put in my shoes:

* Jello

* More shoes

* Spam

* The digestive system of a ferret

* Someone else's feet

* Anything my cats throw up

* Poison Ivy

* Pine cones

* Bacon (It is evil to waste perfectly good bacon)

* The DNA of Justin Bieber

* Motor oil

* Light bulbs

* Superglue

* Replica of the Eiffel Tower


Yes, another post about my feet.
You may remember from last week that I was diagnosed with Plantar Fasciitis, and had to have x-rays to determine if anything else was going on.

I got to see the x-rays this morning.

There's minimal bone damage, but the soft tissue damage is bad enough that I have to stay off my feet for awhile.  I'll have to wear arch supports for the rest of my life, plus something called a "crest pad".  It's basically a toe-straightener.  The toes on my left foot have curled underneath so bad that I'm walking on my toenails and toe-knuckles.  It hurts a lot.  So I'll have devices to help fix that.  It'll never fix it entirely, so I'll be wearing them forever.  That's ok, I guess.  As long as it takes the pain away.

I'm also supposed to roll a tennis ball around the bottom of my foot for 10 minutes, four times a day.  Also supposed to roll a frozen bottle of water along the bottom of my foot, to help take down the inflammation.

Still using a cane to get around.
Still limping a lot of the time.
Still taking prescription Ibuprofen which is four times stronger than the over-the-counter stuff.

But hey, at least there's no superglue or ferret guts or Justin Bieber in my shoes, right?


g-man said...

Janna Dear...
I'm sorry about your foot woes.
You know my fondness for the Femme Feetals
Loved your gross 55
Thanks for toughing it out to write this
You are so sweet
Of course this does qualify you to ride the Shopping Cart Amigo at Krogers. That's a good thing!
Have a Kick Ass Week End

Yvonne Osborne said...

I too am sorry about your foot woes (sorry but that comment made me laugh), but look at the bright side, you'll have all kinds of time to write stuff. Your 55 made me laugh too. I definitely wouldn't want any Justin Bieber in my shoes! Good luck and follow doctor's orders.

Marcia said...

Maybe we could work out an arrangement where we could swap your toes for my knees once in a while. It'd be a nice change of pace.
Hang in there, though.
I really enjoy your blog.
Oh yeah. For stiffness, Mineral Ice is nice, and it has the added benefit of clearing sinuses. Two for one; can't beat that!

Steve E said...

2 AM and I have to "rise up" at 5:30...and I glad to read your posted '55 tonight--it leaves me to go to bed laughing and happy, and wil be asleep in few minutes SAWING logs.

Thanks for the Perfect smiles!

nonamedufus said...

I'm with you. Leave spam on the computer where it belongs. Or in a Monty Python episode. Spam, spam, spam, spam.

Alice Audrey said...

The tennis ball sounds kind of fun. I think the frozen bottle would tickle.

I don't want Bieber in my shoes either.

Jazzbumpa said...

this is not such a bad outcome
inconvenient sure
roll those tennis balls
foot-thaw that bottle

your writing is witty and wonderful

stay positive

eiffel tower would be the worst
in cruel shoes


Janna said...

g-man: Sometimes I wonder about using the motorized carts, but I always end up deciding not to. They just seem big and awkward and cumbersome. I've seen people riding those who were NOT paying attention to where they were going, and they ended up knocking down entire store displays. Yikes. I'll keep on walking for as long as I can. (!)

Yvonne: I have to go buy another tennis ball! I just realized I left the other one at work, and now I've got the whole weekend ahead of me with no spherical thing to roll on my feet...

Marcia: My mother has terrible knees, so I know how debilitating those can be too. Hang in there.

SteveE: You're only getting 3 hours of sleep?! Wow. Thank you for reading my blog. Must be the insanity is already setting in. ;)

nonamedufus: I wish I had the complete DVD series of Monty Python stuff. (*awkward pause filled with nostalgic wishing*)

AliceAudrey: The tennis ball feels pretty uncomfortable and awkward so far. I'd hoped it would be relaxing and soothing. So far, no.
I keep forgetting to freeze the water bottle, so I'll have to get back to you about the tickling...

Jazzbumpa: I read the cruel shoes story! Both funny and disturbing. I'm not the stereotypical shoe-obsessed kind of woman, thankfully. Instead of seeing shoes as an irresistible fashion statement, I see them as a practical way to keep my bare feet from stepping on worms and bugs.

Other Mary said...

Ouch - I hope your feet no longer feel like an Eiffel Tower replica is in your shoes!

Janna said...

OtherMary: They hurt! A lot!