Monday, April 2, 2012

It's still better than talking to goldfish

Recently at McDonalds, I saw an older guy walking out to his car . His pants didn't fit very well, and he really needed to pull them up. They were sagging noticeably.
While watching him, I thought "Wow, hey, pull up your pants!!"

And, a few seconds later, he reached back and pulled up his pants. (!)

This can only mean one thing.
I am able to telepathically communicate with people over 50.
I'll spend the next few days considering how I can effectively use this new-found superpower.

This just in...

After extensive research experimenting with the new superpower, I've made the following discoveries:

1) Sadly, I am not able to summon Mike Mills to visit me while wearing a glow-in-the-dark thong, nor am I able to convince him to answer the fan letter I sent him last summer. Neither will he agree to autograph my huge collection of R.E.M. CD's even if I allow him to wear clothes over the glow-in-the-dark thong. I get the impression he's also not interested in connubial bliss atop a grand piano.

2) Just a moment. I'm still not done being devastated about #1.

3) I was not able to convince the CEO of Taco Bell to give me a lifetime supply of chalupas.

4) Neither was I able to make a driver of a red Toyota go faster than 45 mph in a 55 zone.

Clearly more research is needed.
Are YOU over 50? If so, what am I thinking right now?


LOTGK said...

"Are YOU over 50? If so, what am I thinking right now?"

8-Track tapes and how cool they were.

nonamedufus said...

You know for the last week I've unconsciously been pulling up my pants. Now my belt's up around my chest.

Janna said...

LOTGK: I was born in 1970. So I almost sort of vaguely remember 8-track tapes, but not quite. Most of my childhood and teens were spent with cassettes instead. It wasn't until halfway through college that I really started caring about CD's.

nonamedufus: It works!! Now if you could please deliver that pizza to the address I mentioned...