Thursday, December 1, 2011

Fortunately, coal is on sale in aisle five

"BUY ME THIS!!" Shrieked the toddler. "I WANT IT! I want THIS and THIS, just like on TV!!!" He demanded, whining loudly.

A passerby threw irritated glances at the mother.

"Oh, he's not mine," she explained. "I just hired him to follow me around today, to remind me that life could be a lot worse."
.

21 comments:

Brian Miller said...

hahaha and that will certainly do the trick...i am so glad my boys are through that stage...smiles.

Janna said...

Brian: I'm glad the only children I have are cats! :)

Grace said...

Oh my dear - so funny - I should do that...just to remind me...

Janna said...

Grace: I wonder what they charge...

G-Man said...

Hell... I just bought them the crap and it shut them right up!
I love your 55..(In spite of the lack of any food references)
Thanks for playing, you are like finding that new spray can of Glade (Autumn Apple), after 'Uncle Ernie' just exited your only bathroom.
Have a Kick Ass Week-End

Adrian Katrina Miller said...

I love this!

TALON said...

Haha hahaha! Perfection! (This also had a repressed memory affect - I remember when I was in my late teens taking my then toddler nephew to the mall and him throwing a major fit right in the center of the mall. Not only did I get the whole disgusted look things, it was compounded by people whispering "Teenage moms haven't got a clue!" I was truly delighted to hand him back to my sister at the end of the day! Strangely, it didn't prevent me from going on to have children - lol!)

izzy said...

Oh that is an annoying,clever scene! My kids howl, screech and whinny- bad enough.

Mama Zen said...

That is hilarious!

Yvonne Osborne said...

Ha! So funny, clever and twisted!
Thanks for the laugh as I head down the road.

Monkey Man said...

If only. Unfortunately, this situation is usually played out as G-man said.

Janna said...

G-Man: No, no no, you should never buy them the stuff they're tantrumming about; that just encourages them for next time!

Adrian: I'm glad! :) It's filled with truth. Sort of like a jelly donut, only with truth instead of jelly. And fewer calories.

TALON: The problem today is if you spank the kid in public, nosy self-righteous people will think it's child abuse (which it most certainly is NOT). Hopefully your nephew grew up to have kids of his own, and he now realizes the agony firsthand. LOL.

izzy: Howl? Screech? Whinny? You have wolves, owls, and horses for children? It must be awful taking them to Wal-Mart.

MamaZen: I thought so! :)

Yvonne: I spend each day trying to become a little more twisted.

MonkeyMan: Unfortunately, you're right.

hope said...

We weren't able to have kids (relax, no angry lecture coming) but the "perk is" the ability to throw pitying glances at people with children like that this time of year.

Well done, with a sense of humor. :)

Mijayami said...

Oh, that's awesome! There was a kid like that in Costco today and it did make me appreciate that my kids have long outgrown the tantrum phase...

Nara Malone said...

I'm going to have to remember that one. :)

Morning said...

a fun story,
peacefully told.

:)

Katherine Krige said...

It isn't always that bad,

but sometimes it is & that's when they should fear the tight-lipped march back to the car the most.

Happy Holidays! :)

Janna said...

hope: Thanks for visiting! :)

Mijajami: Thank goodness they usually grow out of it!

Nara: :)

Morning: Perhaps I'm peaceful today because I drank caffiene-free soda. No, wait... I think it was the tacos.

Katherine: Oh, it's bad often enough. (!) I try to avoid big stores this time of year. This is one of the reasons.

meleah rebeccah said...

Oh my word, that's hysterical!

whall said...

I hate it when people enforce silly structures and rules upon my creativity. This whole “55 word” thing is a good example of what’s wrong with the world.

Do you think anyone really cares that you carefully constructed your meaningful post within some preset limit? I mean, come on, Janna. Grow a pair, why doncha.

Janna said...

meleah: Thank you!

whall: I was all set to ask you why you were being bitchy, and then I realized your comment was exactly 55 words long. Thank you for fooling me... for about 55 seconds. :)