Help! The pepperoni level in my brain is dropping rapidly!

I had barley for lunch.
Barley.
It was ok, I guess, but my brain kept waiting for me to say "Ha! Just kidding! Here's your pepperoni pizza!"
My brain isn't speaking to me now.Which explains a lot, now that I think about it......................................................................................

Things I have never said to a bowl of barley:

1. "How many whole grains does it take to change a light bulb?"

2. "Here, smell this."

3. "Why don't you ever return my texts?"

4. "Wait-- I thought you grew on trees, just like money."

5. "I hate to tell you this, but most people would rather eat bacon."
.
....................................................................................
Today's vegetarian experience:

Morning:
Bowl of Rice Chex
Lowfat milk
Blueberries

Lunch:
Barley, sugar snap peas, and carrots, seasoned with a packet of Lipton "Spring Vegetable" soup mix. (Not too bad, I guess. Maybe. Sorta.)

Mid-Afternoon:
Nutella on a Wasa Wafer (Super yum!)
"Laughing Cow" garlic herb cheese on a Wasa Wafer

Dinner:
2 Garden-Veggie burgers on whole wheat multigrain buns, with cheese
"Black & Blue Berry" Lifewater
.