Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Six Ways To Use An Ugly Sweater

1. Convenient cushion on which to land when you jump off the refrigerator wearing your new Superman cape.

2. Place it under your car to absorb the drips, so you can see whether you're leaking oil (brown), transmission fluid (red), antifreeze (yellow-green), or grape juice (purple).

3. Use as a saddle cushion the next time you ride your new horse to town. I know you were hoping to avoid having to pay high gas prices, but what about the cost of horse chow, vet bills, and the new stable? Still, good luck with the sweater.

4. Place it behind your back tires for traction the next time you get stuck in the snow.

5. Use it to protect the kitchen countertop from the hot cookie sheet the next time you accidentally burn cookies (Probably because you lost track of time while jumping off the refrigerator).

6. If you're stranded in the Antarctic with penguins who are unlikely to ridicule your fashion sense, you could actually wear it.


MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

How come nobody commented on this post? It's much better than the one before it, and funnier than the one after it. I particularly numbers 1 and 5. They appeal to the little boy in me.

By the way, I really wish the little boy in me would move out. The kid's irritating as hell, and he never stops eating.

izzy said...

What fun! very creative, thanks!

Janna said...

MikeWJ: I was getting concerned too, about the conspicuous lack of comments. You always have forty trillion comments on your posts and I try SOOO hard not to be jealous. :)

Izzy: Thank you! :)