Possible ways to annoy random strangers

1. Insist that your armpit hair is more luxurious than theirs, and offer recent photos as proof.

2. Ask what their name is, and then spell it out by belching each letter to the tune of "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star".

3. Begin a conversation about how Pluto may not be a planet anymore, but if we start a petition we might be able to get it approved as the 51st state.

4. Tell them about the time you were so desperate for a hot dog bun that you used a Twinkie instead.

5. Offer them a free bottle of your tap water in exchange for commenting on your blog.

6. Explain in hushed tones that there is invisible toilet paper stuck to their shoe.

7. Ask if you can please sniff their earlobes.

8. Watch them breathe for a few minutes, then say "Wow, just how much oxygen do you think you need??"
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