Things I did this weekend

1. Listened to the local radio station which was broadcasting live coverage of a hot dog eating contest.
Apprehensively, I listened closely for sounds of rabid gluttony, but there were none I could detect.
I'm unsure why this disappoints me.
I'm also unsure of why a radio station would feel the need to broadcast audio coverage of a hot dog eating contest.
On the bright side, the winner was a lady, and she was the only female contestant.

2. Went to McDonalds for lunch. Usually I just go to the drive-up window, but Sunday I went inside for some reason. I decided to eat my lunch there instead of getting it "to go".
I was surprised when I looked at my receipt and saw that they charged twenty cents for "Eat In Tax".
Really? Seriously? They charge you a tax to sit in the restaurant and eat?
Fascinating.
It also annoyed me, so I decided to make sure I got my extra twenty cents worth. I sat there basking in the air conditioning for over an hour, I refilled my large drink four times, and I filled my cup with ice before I left.
My bladder wanted to reach up and strangle me, but it was totally worth it.

"Gggrrgglll...." My bladder complained. "Ggggggfffsssss."

"Oh, be quiet," I muttered. "There's twenty cents at stake here. Do you want the greedy corporate bloodsuckers to win? Do you? Huh? DO you?"

"Ffffgggllllll," answered my bladder bitterly, which roughly translates to "The next time you cough or sneeze, you are going to be very, very sorry."
.