Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Five uses for Brussels Sprouts

1. Slingshot missiles for vegetarians

2. Bowling ball for a chipmunk

3. Snowman testicles

4. Things to throw at someone who suggests you shouldn't be having a second slice of pie

5. Duct tape one to each ear and drive someplace you've never been before. When the locals express confusion about you, pretend to have no idea what they're talking about. Insist that where you come from, EVERYONE does this on this day of the year. When the locals don't believe you and express suspicion that you are in fact a raving nut case, you won't be able to hear them anyway because, hey, you've got a Brussels sprout duct taped to each ear.
.

14 comments:

Grace said...

The use as a bowling for chip monks conjures a delightfully funny picture but I'd rather eat them. It one of the few vegetables my veggie hating husband will eat. Had some with dinner just last night!

00dozo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Monkey Man said...

Snowman testicles? Wouldn't they be blue?

00dozo said...

Love it! I hope you don't do that to your snowmen - It could cause some car accidents, no doubt. ;-)

(Note to self: read profiles before posting stupid comments.)

Janna said...

Grace: I totally understand wanting to eat chipmunks. Oh... wait, you meant the brussels sprouts. Now THAT'S just weird.

MonkeyMan: LOL!

00dozo: Car accidents AND horse/buggy accidents. I live in an area with a fair amount of Amish people. :)

Mik said...

I actually like brussel sprouts.

Janna said...

Mik: Given a choice, I'd rather eat the chipmunks.

PattiKen said...

I'd rather eat the brussels sprouts (rather like them, actually) than the snowman testicles. Would those be called "tundra oysters"?

Janna said...

PattiKen: Tundra Oysters! LOL! Yes! :)

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...
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MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

I like Brussels sprouts, and would probably enjoy having them taped to my ears. I put strange things on my ears all the time, even in my hometown. I don't know why, and perhaps it explains why I don't have any true friends.

Murr Brewster said...

Dingleballs for Carmen Miranda's hat.

Marla said...

I think I may have done #4.

Janna said...

MikeWJ: I don't have a ton of friends either. Well, unless you count the imaginary ones. They're ok. It would be nice if they'd help out with the bills once in awhile, but I guess I'll just have to settle for the random mumblings and secret messages.

MurrBrewster: Excellent!

Marla: I know I've certainly considered it...