Thursday, September 10, 2009

Actual comments I have left on other people's blog posts this year

1. "I tried understanding baseball once, but couldn't figure out why they slid around on the ice so much when all they had to do was knock the ten pins over with those rackets. If they could do it while jumping over the net at the same time (also called a "touchdown"), they were allowed to take a "time out" to get all that sand out of their shorts.
It never really did make sense."
(source)

2. "The best part about being a statue is that whenever you farted, people would assume it was the tourist standing next to you."
(source)

3. "In theory, camping sounds like a fun thing.
In practice, it merely makes you appreciate air conditioning and indoor plumbing more than you ever thought possible."
(source)

4. "I'd worry that all that white water rapids stuff would just WHIP the paddle right out of my hands.
The rest of the raft would thus be doomed to a watery grave, after paddling in circles over and over and over again."
(source)

5. "I once felt exquisitely ardent
When I dreamed about having a garden
Til I realized that plants
Do a final death dance
When I buy them, their arteries harden!"
(source)

6. "Just imagine the tooth-cleaning lady in a closet filled with bitter resentful monkeys which have all been armed with tiny drills...
And one orangutan, who has just discovered that he's strong enough to wield a sledgehammer.
Does that help?"
(source)
.

16 comments:

subtorp77 said...

Woo-hoo! In the top five! Hey wait...oh yeah, now I remember this, heh, heh...

Jeff said...

Ah yes, I remember that one clearly. :-)

Say, this is a great idea. I usually say some of my best stuff in other people's comments, and then struggle to be clever on my own blog.

Do you think I would be imposing if I asked every blogger I know to send me every comment I've ever left over the last 5 years?

Chris@Maugeritaville said...

Pretty clever post idea. I'd steal it, but that would require me to actually pay attention to the things I say.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

Once again you've managed to look at a very ordinary thing in a very unordinary way, which is why I think you're a genius. I don't even think about my comments. I'm not thinking about this one now. I'm watching TV and just typing random letters, hoping it works out OK.

Marilyn said...

I like camping but it does help me appreciate indoor plumbing more.

Janna said...

Subtorp: What can I say. Plants hate me, and I felt the need to put that into verse. :)

Jeff: You should totally try that. Send it to them like spam, asking if they want to try your new non-prescription virility drugs, then say "Just kidding! Can you send me every comment I've ever left on your blog?" They'll be so glad you're not a spammer, they'll do almost anything you ask.
Of course, I could be wrong.

Chris: It's ok. I only remember about 2% of what I say, which is why I'm glad I sometimes put it in writing.

MikeWJ: What's on TV?

Marilyn: And electricity, and big refrigerators, and sofas, and computers, and air conditioning, and big comfy beds with no bears nearby!

subtorp77 said...

Janna, did you read my post on Mary Contrary's garden?

Janna said...

Subtorp: No, I don't think I did.... I must still be mesmerized by the post about the pepperoni pizza.

subtorp77 said...

Janna, you can read that one here

nonamedufus said...

You may not be much of a gardner but you sure are funny. This was a great idea. Thanks for sharing.

kathcom said...

This is an excellent idea. I'm not sure how to retrieve them all, though. Your comments are so interesting let loose from the posts themselves.

I Googled "kathcom" yesterday--I know, I should be ashamed of myself--and saw a comment I left somewhere that read, "Lance Armstrong and Hitler have a lot more in common than you'd think." I'm not sure that is a wise thing to say even in context, no matter how much I might dislike Lance Armstrong.

Janna said...

Subtorp: Ah!

Nonamedufus: I try! :)

Janna said...

Kathcom: LOL! Now I have to know what the context was...

subtorp77 said...

Janna, heh, heh..you could start a "not so green thumb" club...

Janna said...

Subtorp: I could! I can see our meetings going either of two directions:
1) Eat only leafy green salads, so we can vengefully gnaw on the plants to punish them for growing so beautifully in another person's garden.
2) Avoid vegetables entirely during our meeting dinners, out of protest.

subtorp77 said...

Heh, heh, heh...