Sunday, August 30, 2009

My week of vegecide

This week, for no particular reason, I want to try becoming a vegetarian.
Just for this week.
I promise to return promptly to my shamelessly carnivorous self when I'm done.
The local wildlife won't even have time to get comfortable.... which of course is silly because I never really planned on eating them anyway. (Ignore the rumors.)

Here are some reasons I'm not exactly the typical vegetarian type:

1. Pizza exists for the sole purpose of being a comfy cozy bed for meat. I've heard rumors of things called "plain cheese pizzas" and "veggie pizzas", but I view them in much the same way as a caveman would view an iPhone.

2. I don't cook anymore. I used to, when I was younger, but these days I'm just not interested. I bake things on a sheet of aluminum foil in the oven... does that count? I also have a tiny microwave which can handle one tiny bowl of something. That's it. I haven't used my stovetop in years. Needless to say, the Food Network is not knocking at my door to offer me any cooking shows. They do, however, occasionally send mobs with flaming torches, threatening to burn me at the stake if I keep eating off of paper plates.

3. I hate tofu. Tofu is the solidifie
d toe jam of Satan.

There are other reasons too, but maybe I'd better just quit while I'm ahead.

Anyway, for no particular reason, I've decided that this week (August 31 through Sept 6) is going to be my self-imposed week of vegetarianism.
In addition to my regular posts, I'll be letting you all know what I ate that day.

And, if I end up "forgetting" and chowing down on a large beef burrito with a side of pepperoni-bacon-ham-sausage pizza, I'll be sure and let you know about that too.

Wish me well.
I promise to stop if sprouts start growing out my ears (or other places).


Jeff said...

Yeah, but imagine how Bob the tomato and Larry the cucumber are going to feel. Either way, you're going to end up killing something.

Drowsey Monkey said...

I was a vegetarian for over 20 years. I found it easy. I only introduced some fish/meat back into my diet for health reasons ... long story that doesn't really matter. Anyway, I still can't cook meat. I get my meat on the outside. ;)

Good luck!

Janna said...

Jeff: On the bright side, at least there will be no more VeggieTales videos afterward. That's gotta be worth something, right?

DrowseyMonkey: 20 years? Wow! That's a long time to go without bacon cheeseburgers and chili cheese fries!

Anonymous said...

Janna, interesting project. And yes, I agree about the tofu-LOL! Good luck! And veggie dip goes great with raw carrots, cauliflower and broccoli :P

Steven said...

Hooray! A vegetarian!!

Anonymous said...

I don't believe it...

Antelope said...

I hate tofu too, and I've been a vegetarian for... um, a long time. Anyway, I recommend subsisting on blocks of cheese for the week. It will definitely convince you of the health benefits of vegetarianism.

Gwenhwyfar said...

Now this is going to be entertaining...
Also, I haven't eaten meat in over 10 years. I really can even remember what it tastes like. I have a vague memory of the texture but the taste? *shrug* (I gave it up when I was still in elementary school. I was even an opinionated, hard-headed little kid...)

Janna Bee said...

Good luck. Personally I love vegetarian pizzas- I hate meat ones. If I didn't live with such a meat lover, I might be vegetarian myself!

Janna said...

Subtorp: If only I liked veggie dip... Actually I don't mind just dipping them in some good Italian dressing.

Steve: Limited time only!

Grace: I'm not sure I believe it either, yet here I am! :)

Antelope: Yay! Blocks of cheese! I could definitely go for that.

Gwen: I will do my best to entertain all you veggie-heads out there. By Sunday night I should be cowering in the fetal position, whimpering pathetically for a rack of BBQ ribs. Stay tuned!

JannaBee: I've been toying with the idea of MAYBE having a pizza this week. If I had to have only vegetables on it, I'd get olives and mushrooms and hot peppers. Those are pretty much the only vegetables I can tolerate on pizza.

Anonymous said...

Why go vegan or vegetarian at all?
Balance is the key and real foods is the basis of good health. Sadly a lot of people have condemned meat, opting for high carbs, etc., which translate in the body as sugar. Protein is essential, but in addition, meat is nutrient dense.
Zinc is found in chicken, nuts and legumes, but lean beef is an excellent source; it provides heme-iron, protein and trace minerals. The World Health Organization estimates one third of the world’s population is zinc-deficient. Studies at Wayne State University, Michigan, show that the mineral is essential for normal development and function of immune cells and cellular reproduction, growth and development. It’s hard for vegans to get all this satisfactorily, especially for teens (esp. teen females) and children.
Too many people, esp. women and children, fall short of balanced nutrition when they give up beef, and as a result, suffer from chronic anemia and low iron (4 million children are iron-deficient in U.S. and childhood iron deficiency is associated with behavioral and cognitive delays). Heme-iron found in beef is superior to every other form and improves the ability of the body to absorb iron from plant sources. Anemic new mothers who took iron supplements experienced a 25% reduction in depression and stress. Incredibly, 84% of children studied who suffered from Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) also suffered from low iron stores; in fact, those with the greatest iron deficiency had the most severe ADHD symptoms.
Most recently, beef has been found to be a great source of B6, which actually is being found to inhibit many forms of cancer, particularly breast cancer.
For athletes, nutritionists recommend protein. A high-carbohydrate diet fuels running. But many runners go to the extreme, living on bagels, pasta, energy bars. Runners need 80 to 100 grams of protein a day to maintain muscles and soft tissues. A 3-ounce serving of chicken provides about 25 grams of protein, a glass of milk 10, a soy burger 14, a hard-boiled egg 6. Also zinc and iron. Runners often skimp on these two important trace nutrients found predominantly in red meat. Though research hasn’t linked zinc and iron deficiency with increased injury rates, there appears to be a connection when working with injured athletes, many of sports-nutritionists concur.
A runner needs 15 milligrams of zinc and 18 milligrams of iron a day. Most runners don’t consume nearly that much, which is why eating a zinc- and iron-fortified breakfast cereal or taking a multivitamin that contains both minerals can help. Foods that are good sources of both zinc and iron include lean beef, poultry, seafood, and lentils.

Janna said...

Anon: I'm not doing this for health reasons at all. I'm just doing it as a fun change of pace so I can have something to blog about. Trust me, I love meat and have no intentions of giving it up permanently.

MikeWJ at Too Many Mornings said...

True story: I used to write for Vegetarian Times while eating beef jerky. I like meat. I like vegetables, too--even tofu (especially baked)--but I wouldn't think of going vegetarian even for my blog's sake. I admire your courage.

Anonymous said...

Janna, Italian dressing workd for me! And do toss in some cheeeeese cubes :p

Morgiana Le Fey said...

funny...i think i myself view iPhones in much the same way as a caveman would view them...

Janna said...

MikeWJ: Hot & spicy beef jerky is awesome! The hotter the better! I like tabasco-flavored Slim Jims too, even though IMHO they don't really qualify as "hot".

Subtorp: Cheese is wonderful stuff! Yay cheese! Yummy cheese!

Morgian: Me too, actually.

whall said...

really? no reason at all? Then I shall laugh at you.

Don't worry. I don't have a reason to laugh at you.


Janna said...

Whall: No reason at all. In fact, I... Hey! Stop laughing at me! My feelings are fragile when I am deprived of BBQ ribs and pepperoni and crispy chicken.

whall said...

If we ever meet up, Austin or your corner of the world (or a blogger meet up), I promise to provide an unlimited supply of said BBQ Ribs, pepperoni and crispy chicken.

Thomas Scott said...

Interesting idea. I wish you the best of luck! As a vegan going on 6 years, I can tell you that vegetarianism doesn't have to be hard and you don't have to be deprived of great tasting food. You also don't need to be a master cook!

Just do your best and hopefully you get something out of it. :)


Janna said...

Whall: Unlimited? Really? Even if I'm so starved I can eat twelve hundred pounds of BBQ ribs? Great!

ThomasScott: Despite all my grumblings, I really am having an interesting time with the project. I promise. :) And I suspect if I was richer I'd be able to afford better stuff.

Travis said...

At least you can still have TACOs. You know what's really good on a meatless and dairyless TACO? Spinach leaves, tomatoes, mushrooms, and avacado.


Janna said...

Travis: Spinach? Mushrooms? Avacado? On a TACO? With no meat? Wow. I could never do that. :)