Thursday, April 23, 2009

Someday my nose will honk at seven-thirty

Five Evil Things Clowns Haven't Done (yet):

1. Turning the entire world's supply of cheese into vinyl. (They might have started on some of that rubbery "fat free" cheese. It's hard to tell.)

2. Barricading your door with a giant pile of really big shoes

3. Discovering how many lawyers can fit in a Volkswagen-- on a hot July day with the windows up and the A.C. broken. (The jury's still out on whether or not this actually qualifies as "evil".)

4. Secretly putting round red noses on you while you sleep, and honking them right before your alarm clock goes off

5. Bribing world leaders into making big rainbow wigs mandatory for anyone over 40

Just in case you're still thinking about the rainbow wig thing, I've taken the liberty of poorly and hastily photoshopping eight people from the "over 40" crowd so you can see what they will look like after clowns take over the world.
Today's "Thursday Thirteen" was in a 5+8 format... Just thought I'd point that out.

If you're a fan of any of these people, please don't hurt me. In fact, I should probably point out that I like some of them too.
Let's see.... I like... three of them. Maybe four.
I'll let you decide which ones.

And... I just realized I'm turning forty next year, which means I'd better start shopping for my wig now.


whall said...

Well Oprah and Letterman hate each other, so maybe one of them? said...

It's starting...

If you get a permanent red clown nose, would it be rude for me to beep it at the gas station? or would you expect it, nay, encourage it.

Neigh, whinnie. blbublub. blbublub (that's the sound of a horse flapping it's lips.)

Da Old Man said...

I eagerly await the Clownacolypse.

In NJ, every year, we have a Clownfest. That may be one of the signs.

Marilyn said...

I like about four of them too.

Janna said...

Whall: Yes... I like one of those two. :)

GoingLikeSixty: I thought it was the sound of horses farting. It happens a lot over here, what with all the Amish buggies going by.

DaOldMan: Really? Do you attend the Clownfest?

Marilyn: I wonder if they're the same as my four!

Anonymous said...

I want the one Martha Stewart is wearing (that is Martha Stewart, right?) That is so cool - I would definitely wear it.

Da Old Man said...

I have in the past. I'm going to try to go this year.

Travis said...

It's not the rainbow colors I'd object's the randomness with which the clown leaders would choose who must where what style of rainbow wig.

See now why clowns can be a bit skeery?

Janna said...

Grace: Yes, that is definitely Martha! :)

DaOldMan: Hee! How fascinating. I know a couple people who think clowns are the freakiest, scariest things on the planet. They wouldn't go to that fest even if you bribed them with a lifetime supply of chocolate.

Travis: LOL. Clowns don't really scare me; I just have a hard time appreciating their humor. I don't really understand much physical humor; I'm a word-nerd instead.
That being said, I think the rainbow wigs could be a definite improvement in the realm of world politics. :)

Marilyn said...

I kinda hate to ask because then we might find out that one of us likes one that the other despises. It's more fun not knowing. Some of them should be forced to wear clown hair anyway.

Janna said...

Marilyn: I think anyone elected to public office should have to wear the rainbow wig. Sorta like people wore powdered wigs back in the 1700's. Only better.