Wednesday, March 4, 2009

The Great Disappearing Yogurt of 2009

This evening I went to buy a few groceries.
Among other things, I bought four containers of cherry-vanilla yogurt.
Yet, when I checked through my bags, I found only three.
At first I thought it had fallen onto the floor of the car, so I checked thoroughly.
Nothing.
I checked and double-checked.
I distinctly remember putting four yogurts into the cart.
I remember paying for four yogurts.
I remember seeing four yogurts in the grocery bag as I was wheeling the cart out of the store.
Yet, somewhere along the journey, one of them decided to make a break for it.

Possible things that could have happened:

1) The 4th yogurt was actually a shape-shifting supervillain who had to leave abruptly to work on the newest earth-conquering scheme: Vanishing Dairy Products.

2) The 4th yogurt got stolen by a starving supermodel who learned how to be invisible by closing her eyes and thinking of shiny objects.

3) There was no 4th yogurt; I was merely hallucinating as a precursor to going completely insane.

4) Yogurt #3 and #4 merged into one so they could confirm their undying love for one another.

5) One of my alternate personalities ate the yogurt without telling me.

6) Yogurt #4 was ostracized and rejected by all the other yogurts, because it kept leaving the toilet seat up.

7) Yogurt #4 ran away because it wanted to see the world and experience new cultures.

(Ha! Get it? Yogurt? Culture?)
.

16 comments:

Marilyn said...

Ooooh. I can be invisible by closing my eyes and thinking of shiny things? That is useful.

Venom said...

I love the invisible model! But my guess is the bagboy ate it on his break...

VE said...

Yogurts, like gnomes, can be very tricksy...

Gwenhwyfar said...

That's weird because this morning I heard a tiny knock at the front door and when I opened it I found a cherry-vanilla yoghurt on my front step holding a tiny hobo pack and looking a little worse for wear. I'll talk to it and see if I can figure out exactly what happened.

(on a completely unrelated note: this is the best spam word thingy ever.... pantspil. hahaha)

Da Old Man said...

This requires a full investigation

Janna said...

Marilyn: Use it wisely!

Venom: I wish I could blame it on the bagboy. The problem is there WASN'T a bagboy. The mystery deepens....

VE: And don't forget the orxes and hobbitses!

Gwen: I almost believed you until I realized that MY yogurt wasn't spelled with an "h". :)

DaOldMan: I agree!

Gwenhwyfar said...

You know what, Janna? I am getting just a little sick of your letter prejudices. First it was U and now H? What the hell, dude? What's next? Huh? Z?

Janna said...

Gwen: I was gonna harass you about "Q" next, but "Z" can be next if you'd rather. Just a sec, lemme change the list...

whall said...

I wondered why I never see ADD/ADHD people any more...

Janna said...

Whall: I give up... why? Are they hiding in the yogurt? Maybe they... Ooooh, look! A kitty!

Janna said...

Whall: (again) Actually, I can think of some definite advantages to being invisible. Unfortunately, I have never been (and will never be) a supermodel.

whall said...

People with ADD/ADHD are always saying "look! something shiny!" and turning to look.

Janna said...

Whall: I know people like that. It's so frustrating when you're trying to explain something and... OMG, look! Silverware!

Mo said...

8) I ate it.

Travis said...

I agree with Da Old Man, but who does one call in a case such as this? Is there an official yogurt investigation bureau?

The YIB?

Janna said...

Morgen: *gasp* I knew it!

Travis: There should be a CSI spinoff called CSI:Yogurt. Or maybe a Law and Order spinoff.