Monday, August 11, 2008

Apparently the lizards also know how to use e-mail

Most of you are probably familiar with the list of plagues that got unleashed on ancient Egypt.
Some of them included frogs, darkness, boils, and a river turning into blood. Those are pretty impressive, and I'm sure I could never improve upon them.

Still, it got me thinking: if I was able to unleash plagues on people who greatly irritated me, what are some interesting ones I could do?

How about these:

1. All your shampoo turns into mustard, and all your ketchup turns into expired milk.
2. Random appearance of multiple tattoos which say "Eat at Joe's", Try Metamucil", and "For a good time, bite this."
3. Nearsighted hummingbirds which think some of your body parts resemble tasty flowers.
4. All your teeth turn to candy corn.
5. Giant lizards which will eat through your shoes and try convincing you to mortgage your house and take penis enlargement pills.
.

21 comments:

xup said...

Yes, those are good, too, but I still think nothing beats the slaughtering of the firstborn. That one totally rocks.

Janna said...

Xup: Of course. It's hard to improve upon the classics.

Travis said...

**resolves to always stay on Janna's good side**

At least you didn't do anything with spiders.

Janna said...

Travis: Ooooh! I could do a LOT with spiders!

Meloncutter said...

I must be being good in the eyes of the big guy upstairs. I ain't had a boil on my ass in a couple of weeks now.

Dang.

Later Y'all.

Janna said...

Meloncutter: Just wait. I'm sure your day is coming. :)

anthonynorth said...

And I thought I was writing horror this week :-)
Some good ideas there - perrhaps you should send this revision to some theological colleges.

Your EG Tour Guide said...

I hope I never make you angry, LOL!

WillThink4Wine said...

Janna, what color is the sky in your world? hahaha!

Sanni said...

Now that's a pretty cool idea... there's this one person I'd love to send over for testing reasons =)

Happy Manic Monday

After Hours said...

you know the giant lizard thing might not be so bad...bigger penises-who would complain?

Kimmie said...

Oh My! You will forever be Queen Janna as far as I'm concerned! *giggle*

Great MM! Have a wonderful day.

Hugs,
Kimmie

metalmom said...

OMG!! I'm being plagued by those very lizards! My emails are chock full!!

Evil Genius said...

Huh. I wondered how I got those tattoos.

Tink *~*~* said...

Ah, I hadn't remembered that boils was one of the plagues - excellent!

Tink *~*~*
My Mobile Adventures *~*~*

Mo said...

Boil boil toil and trouble
clear up the boo boos on Janna's bum
on the double.

Janna said...

AnthonyNorth: Not sure the theologians would appreciate my warped sense of humor!

EGtourguide: So far so good!

WillThink4Wine: Usually mauve.

Sanni: Excellent! I have a list of my own too!

AfterHours: Are you volunteering?

Kimmie: Do I get a crown? Can I collect taxes? Can I knight people?

Metalmom: Watch out for the tattoos next!

EvilGenius: Where did they end up appearing?

Tink: Gotta love the boils!

Morgen: Hey, I never said I had one on my bum.... here, I'll show you...

Marilyn said...

You aren't mad at ME are you?

Janna said...

Marilyn: Nope! Not yet!

Gwenhwyfar said...

Can I just get the tattoo that says "Eat at Joe's"? Because, honestly, I would be stoked on that.

Janna said...

Gwen: Only if I can choose where it goes.