Sunday, July 13, 2008

I am so embarrassed

I was going a little stir-crazy Saturday evening, so I drove into town for no real reason other than to help smooth out my sanity. I had a cheap burger at McDonald's and then sat in a grocery store parking lot for awhile, undoubtedly looking like a suspiciously depressed zombie.
Then I drove home.
It was really dark out, because by then it was about 1:30 in the morning.

Halfway between my car and the porch, I noticed a reflection of something down near the ground at my feet.

Something moving.

Yikes, I thought.

It was too dark to see what it was, but it looked like the moonlight was reflected off an eye, and I could see the reflection moving around.
I live out in the country, and we've got plenty of wild animals out here. Vermin, critters, call them what you will. There are raccoons, skunks, possums, rabbits, squirrels, groundhogs, and who knows what else. It just comes with the territory.
They're supposed to be scared of people, and generally run away when they're approached.
Yet this thing wasn't scared at all, and it was right in front of me.

Alarmed, I tried playing the "I'm human, therefore I'm superior" card. (HA!)

I shouted "HEY!!", loudly and sharply.

Nothing.

Again, I shouted "Get!!! GET!!!!!", proud that I was able to project an air of "forcefulness and control" instead of "fear and weakness".

Nothing.

At this point my eyes had adjusted to the darkness a little bit better, and I was able to see what it was.
There was no eyeball reflecting the moonlight.
I was seeing a firefly.
It was lit, and slowly moving around near the ground at my feet.
No critter, no vermin, no rabid wild creature which had mutated into a fearless monster.
Just a bug.

By now I realized I had definitely shouted loud enough to wake up the neighbors.

Embarrassed, I hurried past the fly and shut the front door behind me.
Oops.
.

12 comments:

keyguy13 said...

Don't ya just love those dumb ass moments? I had a similar one happen a couple years ago. I told Morgian and Kyle about it a few tuesdays ago :) Ask me about it and when I tell you, you might feel less embarrassed about the whole firefly incident :)

Meloncutter said...

Hay!!! I got your text message. I had the phone on the computer desk. I went to bed last night late. At 4:20 this morning the spouse came in the bedroom saying I had a text and it might be an emergency getting one that early in the morning. I got up.

I am awake now at 4:20 in the morning on my vacation.

You should be a little less depressed now. You got the spouse wound up enough to drag my fat ass out of bed.

I am sending you pubic hair samples from my 84 year old neighbor as a reward.

Sorry I wasn't up to get into a text message debate on the status of the use of nursery rhyme music in the realm of heavy metal.

LOL

Hope you are less depressed now.

Later Y'all.

Pipper said...

Too funny!!!

Janna said...

Keyguy: I will ask!

Melon: Awwwww, man, now I feel guilty. Sort of.

Pipper: At least it gave me something to blog about, right? :)

Broadway Matron said...

It wasn't JUST a bug - it was a lightning bug - that's what we called them - some summers I don't see them at all but this summer our yard has been a magical faeryland of them each evening..it's probably the only bug I have a fondness for..

metalmom said...

I did the same thing at 4am taking the dog out into the back yard! That is so funny!!

Janna said...

BroadwayMatron: Plus it's cool when they hit your windshield and their butts keep glowing for a few seconds afterward.

Metalmom: I'm glad I'm not the only one. :)

Mo said...

Possums hiss, lightning bugs just say "hey, lookout for the lady with McDonalds breath!"

Travis said...

But you should still be proud, because if it had been some kind of critter you would have been totally prepared. This was good practice.

Janna said...

Morgen: I must have a reputation amongst the wildlife here.

Travis: So it was sort of like a fire drill? A fireFLY drill? Heh! Get it?

Grumpus said...

"I got a cheap burger then sat in a parking lot. Then I drove home."

All else aside, that is fucking awesome!

Janna said...

Grumpus: It's about as much excitement as I get to see, these days!