Maybe we can even send out for pizza
If I could spend a day with some of my fellow bloggers, it would either be wonderful or disastrous. Possible outcomes include the following:
1) If I spent the day with Steve, I would blackmail him into giving me all his fountain pens, then we could laugh about it afterward, watching Johnny Depp movies while I drew pretty designs on nearby objects with my new pens.
2) If I spent the day with Gwen, we would have fun re-designing my living room the same way hers is decorated-- with coffins and bones and other creepy stuff that is right up my alley. Then maybe we could do each other's nails or something. Or maybe just stay up plotting the demise of our enemies. You know. Girl stuff.
3) If I spent the day with Travis, we could go to Taco Bell and eat a dozen tacos and chalupas, then make origami cranes out of the wrappers. We would also have to eat at least four different kinds of cake. I could then strap him into my machine which would alter his brain waves to not like reality TV anymore.
4) If I spent the day with Morgen, he would beat me senseless for letting that giant fart the last time I spent the day with him.
5) If I spent the day with Shelli, we could spend hours chatting about our fellow bloggers while designing plans for new hospitals which will exclusively treat naked frostbitten people in Minnesota and Michigan.
6) If I spent the day with Fab, we would probably just end up killing each other in a steel cage death match. It's ok. I've lived a long life. I can die semi-happy.
7) If I spent the day with Marilyn, I could beg her to make a sign for me that says "Welcome to Michigan, where naked people sometimes get frostbitten." Then she could teach me how to home-school my cats.
8) If I spent the day with Michael, I would hand him the nearest book (even the phone book), and ask him to read for a few hours while I sat back and lavishly enjoyed his British accent. Then we could go out for dinner and he could explain to me exactly what the hell "Bangers and Mash" are.
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13 comments:
If I spent the day with (underlined) Janna, I would beat her senseless for letting that giant fart the last time she spent a day with me.
Morgen: See? I was right! I was right! (So.... when can I visit next?)
Honey, if you had Johnny Depp movies, that would keep me busy enough that you could just steal the pens from under my nose.
Steel cage death match? Do I look like I have that kind of time?
Steve: It's a deal!
Fab: Don't worry. I'll make it quick.
Bangers & mash, pork or beef sausages with mashed potatoes, yum, now I'm hungry.
Mik: Sausage and mashed potatoes? Really? That's it? Somehow I always envisioned it as something more distasteful and sickening and... hey, wait a minute... WHAT kinds of cow/pig parts are in the sausages?
Worse than what goes into hot dogs?
I see through your nefarious plan! You'll never get my Dancing shows!
But can we still have CAKE and tacos anyway?
Travis: The machine is painless. I promise. Now, hold still....
You have to e-mail me your address if you want the sign (I will mail it to you because I can't afford the gas involved in a personal visit)... or I could just send it to Morgen, but I thought you wanted the Notice sign.
And really, your cats already know all about aliens, deer skulls, and hairballs. They seem pretty well educated. I do remember you saying that if we spent the day together you would do the driving. We could drive over to Mo's and fart in stereo.
Marilyn: Oooh! My address is HERE!
I said I would do the driving? Really? Ok, well, lemme clean out my car, then.... I know Morgen would LOVE to hear us fart in stereo.
One can never have enough coffins or plots for the demise of others. It's a fact!
Gwen: I think that's written in the US constitution! And maybe the Canadian one, too!
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