Tuesday, April 1, 2008

To My Cats

At this rate, it will be only a short time before my cats discover my blogs, so I think now would be a good time for me to post a few things I've been meaning to tell them.

1. Just because I open a can does NOT mean I am opening a can of cat food. Do not come running excitedly and meowing cutely. This will make me feel slightly guilty, but not guilty enough to actually share my can of chunky soup with you.

2. Use. The. Litter. Box. EVERY time. Please. Dammit.

3. I can TELL who horked up the basketball-size hairball by the color of the fur. Do not try to look innocent when I confront you with this.

4. I love you, and I realize it's a sign of affection when you lick me, but please understand my mixed feelings if you happen to do this right after you've licked your ass.

5. Go back and read #2 a few more times.
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6 comments:

Travis said...

As long as they don't yak in my bed or on my furniture, I can pretty much deal with it.

Lynda said...

I hope my cats read this too.

Mo said...

Nothin' says April Fools From the cat like stepping on a wet hairball and HAVING IT STICK TO YOUR BARE FOOT

Pand0ra Wilde said...

Four words:

Friskies Tender Hairball Remedy.

They think it's the bomb of a treat and you get the treat of NOT stepping in hairballs.

VE said...

I'm just impressed that your cat reads your blog...

Janna said...

Travis: OMG, that reminds me, one of my cats DID puke on my bed last week! Ew!! Eeeewww!

Lynda: Feel free to print it out for them!

Morgen: OMG. Ew. Was it cold or warm?

Pand0ra: I must remember to give that a try!

VE: Amazing, isn't it?