Friday, November 30, 2007

True confessions from Janna!

1. I am a piece of dust on a tiny planet in a tiny galaxy which is not even visible from the other end of the universe.

2. Sometimes I secretly fantasize about living in Canada.

3. Today, while listening to the news, I uttered the words "Bite me, George."

4. I completely admit that I have no idea how an airplane can stay up in the air without immediately crashing into a zillion tiny pieces.

5. If I didn't live in such an annoyingly conservative part of the state, I'd love to have bright neon blue hair.

6. I miss the days when it was easy to find toilet paper in pretty pastel colors like blue, green, peach, and pink. For some reason it was never available in lavender, though. I wonder why not?

7. Current brand of deodorant: Secret Platinum, "Mystic Rain" scent

8. I do not understand why we still feel the need to observe daylight-savings time.

9. Sometimes I think it would be fun to buy a hearse, and park in a public lot, and take a nap in the back. When I woke up, if someone was peeking through the windows staring at me, I could jump out at them and shout "RRAAWWWRRGHHH!!!" and completely scare the crap out of them.

10. I have never played the tuba.
.

24 comments:

Meloncutter said...

I have played the tuba. The sousaphone, the altaphone, the trumpet, electric bass guitar, acoustic bass guitar, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, double neck pedal steel guitar, banjo, ukelele, piano (electric computerized synth type) and fiddled with a fiddle on occasion.

Since the spouse won't let me have sex I have to do something to pass the time.

Later Y'all.

Finn said...

LOL at #9!

I think you should dye your hair blue anyway... why do you care what a bunch of Republicans think? They're all having gay sex in the bathroom anyway.

Cindrarella said...

Gawd, these are wonderful!

So is finn's comment.

Lotsa people have blue hair here, and tiedyed shirts and birkenstocks and peace signs in their yards...c'mon over...there's room for you!

Square1 said...

Oh! Number 9 sounds so fun! I only kinda understand why an airplane stays in the air, though I'm very glad it does... And wheree exactly is the other end of the Universe?

Angry said...

1. And the other end of the universe isn't visible from here, so that's kinda fair.
2. It's not a secret now.
3. Having sex whilst watching the news, kinky.
4. I have an aircraft engineer in my family and he doesn't know either.
5. Dye your underarm hair and they won't know.
6. Lavender, pink and green was all we could get in Aus.
7. Does that mean that the rain in Mystic, Connecticut smells different to anywhere else?
8. We obviously haven't saved enough daylight yet.
9. I heard that someone did that once but ended up buried before she woke up.
10. I prefer my tuber roasted, mashed or sauteed with garlic.

whall said...

re: daylight savings time.

We save up all these little pieces of time so we have them to spend on Leap Years.

I swear, what are they teaching our kids now adays? Why don't you KNOW THIS????

Janna said...

Meloncutter: Ooooh, I didn't know you were a brass player! I love brass instruments. :)

Finn: It's so sad that even the Republicans are getting laid more than I am.

Cindrarella: I lost the contest, didn't I..... (*sniff*...*SOB!!*)

Square1: The other end of the universe is a dark scary place where McDonalds does not exist... as far as we know.

Angry: LOL!! You put a lot of thought into that! :) I love it!

Whall: So if I refused to set my clock back, would I be a few years ahead of everyone else? Could I get my own time zone?

Mr. Fabulous said...

Why DOESN'T bathroom tissue come in different colors anymore?

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: There were a FEW people who complained that the dyes irritated their skin, so for some reason the industry got rid of almost ALL their colored TP. That never made any sense to me. The dyes weren't bothering everyone; why not just have plain white for the few people who wanted it, and keep the color options for everyone else?
I swear, sometimes I think the world is going to hell in a handbasket. Or whatever it is people carry the world in these days.

Wayne said...

With all that's going on in the USA,( George, the stupid wars, you know) I think about moving to Canada a lot! If only they'd switch with Mexico! I hate the cold!(as you know) And I don't speak Spanish!

Desert Songbird said...

#9 sooooooo does not surprise me...

Janna said...

Wayne: I'd MUCH rather live in Canada than Mexico. I can't imagine being in a country with no snow!

DesertSongbird: I'm glad I could live up to your expectations. :)

Square1 said...

I bet they have something like a McDoodle's, though I refuse to speculate what a doodle consits of.

Robin said...

I'd dye my hair blue if I didn't have to strip my hair to accomplish that. I love the idea of blue I just hate what happens when it fades out...

Janna said...

Robin: Well, we could take Angry's suggestion and dye our armpit hair... let it grow out all nice and lush, then go to the salon with a "special request"...

Janna said...

Square1: I bet it has the OPPOSITE of saturated fat, which is how the aliens stay so skinny.

Robin said...

Now that sounds like fun!

Janna said...

Robin: Maybe we can also get it braided!

Robin said...

I am so excited! It's like a slumber party!

Janna said...

Robin: Exactly! We can get our "hair" done, then we can send out for pizza and stay up late scaring each other with stories about Fab.

Robin said...

That would be the BEST sleepover EVER!

Mr. Fabulous said...

There are scary stories about me?

Janna said...

Robin: Maybe Erik and Fab can have a sleepover in Florida at the same time!

Mr. Fab: Yeah, my stalker notebook is pretty up-to-date....

Morgiana Le Fey said...

janna, i will personally bleach and dye your hair neon blue if that is your heart's desire. seriously!