Saturday, October 27, 2007

Add this to my wish list

One of the reasons I hate going to Wal-Mart is because it's such a huge place, and my mobility is not that great these days. My back hurts, my feet hurt, and sometimes my knees hurt too. I used to be on anti-arthritic medication, but I can't afford it any more.
Not to worry, though.
I have found the answer.
The answer is THIS chair.
Just imagine!
With this chair, I could not only reach stuff from the top shelf, but I could effortlessly run down any little old ladies who got in my way.
And am I the only one who can't stand to see kids running around the store, completely unattended by their parents? Not a problem any more. I'll kick this sucker in high gear, and they'll be flatter than a placemat by the time I reach aisle five.
It's a beautiful thing.


Simplistic Pam said...

There are so many wild kids running around Wal-Mart without parents that I'm convinced it doubles as an orphanage.

Tug said...

I want one. BUT. I want an 'attachment' an enclosed bulldozer that I can just ride up into & then head out onto the highways... fun times!

Anonymous said...

See now you would be one of the few people who would give me an appreciative look for sticking my 5 year old in the main part of the cart. Most people give me disdainful looks as she protests that she won't get into anything. I know better though. She's waiting to make mischief.

Anonymous said...


My Saturday Spin-A-Yarn is up and I thought, "Hmmm... I wonder just how whacky Janna would make this story?"


Julia said...

Hm, I can imagine myself, not walking into class, but rolling into the room on one of those things.
Do you think this would impress my pupils?

Mel said...

I agree with Shopping at walmart, its just too big of a place, and my mobility is bad too lately. Also the walmart is always so packed with people! BUt its the cheapest place to buy groceries so I may go there this weekend.

golfwidow said...

I need that. I think it would frighten small children sufficiently that they'd run back to their parents and I wouldn't need to clean their offal from the treads after shopping.

R2K said...

: )

Cincy Diva said...

W-Mart is so Huge, I really feel there should be a Bed and Breakfast halfway thru

Teri said...

Janna, I've been wanting one of these for the longest time. I would use it going to specific stores, although I've stopped shopping at Wal-Mart for the reason that there are billions of people with ill manners shopping there. And they deserve to get run over.

I would also like to use this at amusement parks so I can run over the people who are in my fuckin way.

Janna said...

Simplistic Pam: Exactly! What the heck???

Tug: Ooooh, yes! With racing stripes on the side!

Square1: I commend you for being responsible!!!
(P.S. Sorry I missed the spin-a-yarn... I was gone all day Saturday. Remind me next week! It sounds like fun!)

Julia: Well, it would certainly capture their attention!

Mel: I have the same quandary. Would I rather be more comfortable somewhere else and pay a few cents more? Usually the answer is yes.

Golfwidow: LOL!!! :)

r2k: :)

CincyDiva: I wonder what they would cost...

Teri: I agree completely. :)

jabba said...

Just don't show that to the wanker yuppy golfers... next we'll be hearing about tank wars on the fairway.

If Walmart's an orphanage, where do I sign up?

Janna said...

jabba: I think you sign up at the customer service desk.