Thursday, August 9, 2007

A frightening percentage of the following statements are true:

1. I am currently wearing two band-aids.

2. I just made an origami crane out of a Post-It Note. It's pink.

3. My head hurts.

4. I am completely naked, about 3 feet away from an almost-empty box of shredded wheat.

5. It is so humid here that I've begun sprouting gills, which should come in handy next week when I throw myself off a bridge in utter despair.

6. My head REALLY hurts.

7. Mr. Fab has not visited my blog since Tuesday. Coincidentally, he was named after a bridge.

8. I am craving an Arby's "Chicken-Bacon-Swiss" sandwich, but will be eating a cheap 39-cent pot pie instead.

9. There are tons of mosquito bites on my feet which itch, itch, itch!! I scratched them a little too vigorously, which broke the skin, which means whenever my skin gets sweaty, all the salt runs into the hurtful spots and burns like crazy.

10. An invisible rock named Murp has just asked me to be his friend. He's saying he's an amethyst, but just between you and me, I think he may be feeding me a line of B.S.
.

15 comments:

Travis said...

I would not be at all surprised if #10 were true.

But if we're playing the serious guessing game, then I will guess that the true statments are #1,2,3,4,6,8,9.

I'm sorry you have a headache, that you have mosquito bites, and that it's so damn hot.

Janna said...

Travis: Well, the jury's still out on #5, but all the other ones in the list are true.

Mr. Fabulous said...

How did you get mosquito bites? I got the impression you rarely went outside...

Meloncutter said...

Hot, sweaty and nekkid.

I like that.

Later Y'all

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

janna honey every time i come over here you are nekkid. now that is not lady-like! ha ha ha ha ha

smiles, bee

Marilyn said...

The Fabulous Florida Bridge?

Lee said...

if you've sprouted gills, wouldn't that kinda defeat the purpose of jumping off the bridge? unless, of course, it was a freeway overpass bridge...

Lynda said...

I am not sure about that bridge thing. I mean, he never told us which bridge he was named after.

Morgen said...

There's a Fabulous Bridge in Florida? Must be in Key West.

#10: That's an atheist rock, not an amethyst rock. The heat is getting to you. Murp is trying to get you to join "Rocks Against God" -- Of course, as their honorary new member, you must sit upon them during the monthly invisible atheist rock meetings.
So when you talk about being "on the RAG" next month, we'll know what you mean...

the108 said...

Bare ass naked with a box of shredded wheat. Be careful with that one...lol.

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: It happened on the porch Tuesday night at Chris's goodbye party.

Meloncutter: Glad I could add some joy to your day.

Bee: Ladylike, Schmadylike.

Marilyn: Nope! :) This bridge was in Massachusetts.

Lee: Hey, I can't control the fact that I sprouted gills; it's not MY fault that they're gonna make the whole bridge thing take awhile longer. Though I hear that often the cause of death in those cases is NOT drowning, but a broken neck from hitting the water so hard. (Or the highway beneath a cement overpass. Thanks for your love and concern).

Lynda: I know which bridge it is!

Morgen: It all makes sense now...

The108: It can be very scratchy!

Michael said...

When I read you had one two Band-Aids I was going to make a comment about is that all you are wearing, but a little further on I find out, it is!

Why do you wear band-aids on your nipples, so you don't poke anyone's eyes out?

Janna said...

Michael: My nipples are completely free of band-aids, so I guess I'll have to watch where I point them...

Jaya said...

Interesting... I once knew a kid named 'Murp', short for Murple. I lost touch with her about 8 years ago. Perhaps she has died and been reincarnated as this invisible rock that wants to befriend you. Murp was a great kid, so I'd say go for it!

Janna said...

Jaya: All righty, then! Maybe Murp and I should go out to dinner and talk about our childhoods...