Thursday, July 19, 2007

Thirteen superpowers you might enjoy

1) The ability to make your enemies' eyebrows dissolve into acid
2) Farts made of tear gas
3) The ability to cause mass amnesia within a 20-foot radius whenever you utter a four syllable word
4) Lungs that can breathe pudding
5) Toenails sharp enough to sever a carotid artery
6) The ability to make bald enemies re-grow hair... but the hair looks and smells like fresh grass and it grows twice as fast when they're around hungry goats
7) The ability to urinate out of your belly button while whistling "Dixie"
8) Boogers that explode like tiny hand grenades when you flick them
9) The ability to jump over any fast food establishment in a single bound
10) The ability to turn any food item into a bacon double cheeseburger
11) Secret spy camera built into left butt cheek... it will only work while mooning someone (which kinda defeats the purpose of secretly spying, but hey)
12) Laser beams that can shoot out of your big toes whenever you wear flip-flops
13) The ability to actually reach a real live helpful human being when calling customer service or tech support.
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jantrails: 13 things that go well with ice cream
Jantics: 13 four-syllable words I will never have tattooed on my left foot
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11 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

On number 9 you want to be careful because if you're tired or something and can't make it all the way, some of those fst food places have pretty pointy roofs.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

janna honey, are you bored? ha ha

smiles, bee

Natalie said...

Those are pretty good powers. I would like an order of 1 please.

bundle-o-contradictions said...

Thank you, you had me giggling like a fool here @ Hell...where I happen to work as a customer service representative. (I'm bound here by force, though.)

Morgen said...

Well, since you already have #2, you're well on your way to becoming the SuperHero of your dreams...

:)

Cheesy said...

Oh my GAWD I want power #7! Mailman~~ in summer.. and hotter than hell.. staying hydrated has its woes for us gurlie types... ty ty for the giggles!

Amazing Gracie said...

You know I'm an admirer! Well, I've moved on to the next level - I've tagged you! It's all Mo's fault...

Travis said...

I like the idea of #4. Would it also work with jello? Because that would give me a real advantage for jello wrestling.

What?

Marilyn said...

I want #13.

Lynda said...

My husband already has superpower #2. When he farts, I cry.

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: Good point, since I am tired all the time anyway.

Bee: Hey, what are you implying?! :)

Natalie: Just #1? What about all the others? The farts? The leaping? The pudding? What?

Bundle: Glad you saw humor in it! :)

Morgen: HEY!!

Cheesy: I now have a mental image of a mailcarrier urinating out of a belly button, accidentally soaking the mail. :( I guess it wouldn't matter if it was junk mail.

Gracie: Ok, I'll blame Morgen. :) I've posted the meme-- go check.

Travis: Why not just switch to pudding wrestling instead?

Marilyn: I think everyone wants #13!! :)

Lynda: LOL! :)