Thirteen superpowers you might enjoy

1) The ability to make your enemies' eyebrows dissolve into acid
2) Farts made of tear gas
3) The ability to cause mass amnesia within a 20-foot radius whenever you utter a four syllable word
4) Lungs that can breathe pudding
5) Toenails sharp enough to sever a carotid artery
6) The ability to make bald enemies re-grow hair... but the hair looks and smells like fresh grass and it grows twice as fast when they're around hungry goats
7) The ability to urinate out of your belly button while whistling "Dixie"
8) Boogers that explode like tiny hand grenades when you flick them
9) The ability to jump over any fast food establishment in a single bound
10) The ability to turn any food item into a bacon double cheeseburger
11) Secret spy camera built into left butt cheek... it will only work while mooning someone (which kinda defeats the purpose of secretly spying, but hey)
12) Laser beams that can shoot out of your big toes whenever you wear flip-flops
13) The ability to actually reach a real live helpful human being when calling customer service or tech support.
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jantrails: 13 things that go well with ice cream
Jantics: 13 four-syllable words I will never have tattooed on my left foot
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