Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Nerves of brass

At rehearsal tonight we had a guest soloist. He's an excellent french hornist (much better than I am, though I hope to someday have the same skill level).
Even though he seemed to be a nice guy, I felt intimidated, wondering what he thought of how I sounded. I became ultra-critical of myself, my intonation, my tone quality, my phrasing, and my interpretation of the music. I didn't say anything or act any differently, but inside I was very nervous. I have two bachelor's degrees in music, (one of which specialized in french horn performance), and yet I felt like a hopeless child.
Years from now, when I'M the famous french horn player, remind me of this so I can laugh about it then, OK?
Besides, then I can send all of you autographed pictures of me, posing as I proudly hold my shiny beautiful french horn against my perky bosoms, and.... well, no, never mind.
I could send you an autographed picture of me right NOW, it just wouldn't be worth anything.


Desert Songbird said...

I know this feeling all too well. I'm a fairly competent vocalist with good range, better than average intonation, phrasing, interpretation, etc. When our new choir director was being interviewed (and I was on the interview panel), I was blown away by this ability to sight-sing anything and with near perfect pitch (which I definitely do NOT possess). I was so afraid I wouldn't "measure up" in his eyes. This past weekend, he sat down with me as I discussed my limitations in being able to sing at four straight days of church services, and he said to me, "Doesn't matter. You are one of my stars, and you proved yourself to me from the day we met. Your gift and dedication are unmatched." I was completely blown away.

I'll bet, as intimidated as you felt, you probably performed much better than you think you did. It's the doubt that makes us actually do better; too much confidence is our downfall.

diogenes said...

It's not a rain drop. May be this is river floowing in bloggy ocean. Nice.

Mr. Fabulous said...

So no autographed photo? No perky bosoms?

Well, this has all been one big tease.

onionboy said...

i can never get past the "french" part of french horn without thinking about making out. ah, it's good to be infantile.

i too am a competent vocalist, but i'm critical of myself because of all the incredible talent that surrounds me. i know comparisons lead no where, especially with vocalists, because there are so many different styles. usually i get frustrated with the lower end of my range because i can hit the notes, i just can't get any volume on them, so singing bass without a microphone is just silly for me.

i'm sure you do just fine with your make out horn.

Matt-Man said...

I was in love with a French Horn player in eigth grade band. Oh how how I look back fondly on the memories of her blowing that piece of brass. Cheers!!

Meloncutter said...

I get it. The perky bazooms thingy was to get me to make some rude and crude comment Huh?

In the interest of decency and decorum I shall refrain from comment as you are still working off your x rated probation from that blog thingy you wanted.

Later Y'all

Lynda said...

I want an autographed picture. Then I can point to it and say, "I knew her before she was famous. Look, your photo was signed by a computer!"

Turnbaby said...

I can so relate to what both you and Songbird have said. it used to eat at me when i was singing a lot. I think it made me work harder

I love the French horn--my favorite . So majestic.

Janna said...

Desert Songbird: Wow, that praise must have felt wonderful.

Diogenes: That's two syllables away from being a haiku! :)

Mr. Fab: Ask me again after I become famous.

Onionboy: "make-out horn"... LOL. :) I bet you sing really well... Even though I have no idea what your voice sounds like, I somehow have this idea that good dancers also make good singers. I have absolutely no evidence to back that up, but it sounds nice.

Matt-man: You should blog about that sometime!

Meloncutter: No need to worry; Mr. Fab already beat you to the punch and made the crude comment himself. :) Gotta get here sooner, my friend!

Lynda: I'm almost crazy enough to actually send you one! LOL! Let me know!

Turnbaby: It is majestic... and lush and sonorous, and all kinds of other good words too. :)

Lynda said...

I will add it to my collection! I have one of Fab!

Janna said...

Lynda: HEY, what gives? MY autographed picture of Fab doesn't have perky bosoms! He's fully clothed, dammit... what did he send you? (And what did you do to earn it???) :o

Lynda said...

Mine has a bunny and I just listened to his show on his birthday!

So, when do I get my autographed picture?

Janna said...

Lynda: I listened to the same show and got the same picture, but it doesn't have any perky bosoms on it!

Lynda said...

But I never said the photo I had of Fab had perky bossoms. Where did that come from? ;)

I think the bunny might be covering them up. I mean, I saw the latest photo on his blog.

Janna said...

Lynda: Bunnies are like vertical stripes. They're very slimming.
If I can find where the heck I put my photo-glossy printer paper, and if I can get this lousy printer to work right, I will print off a picture of me, and autograph it and send it to you. E-mail me your address.