Friday, March 9, 2007

Four Groups Of Four

I forgot to do a Thursday Thirteen yesterday, so please accept this belated version I made up. I call it "Four Groups of Four on Friday, For No Reason Except That I Was An Idiot And Forgot To Do Thursday Thirteen."
I know, it's a long title. Work with me here.
(Yes, I know four times four does not equal thirteen, it's sixteen... I know. Think of it as getting three extra, because I was a day late. Like some screwed-up bloggy version of an exorbitant interest rate. )
So, here we go:

Category I
Four Recipes That Sound Good To Me Right Now

A. Crab Cakes
B. Szechuan orange chicken with red chile peppers
C. BBQ Ribs
D. Chicken Enchiladas

Category II
Four Things One Should NOT Do With A Bottle Of Mountain Dew:

A. Shake it really hard and point the cap at your eardrum.
B. Pee in it, just to see if it changes the color any.
C. Bludgeon people who mispronounce the word "Nuclear."
D. Pour it on cornflakes.

Category III
Four Random Items For No Reason:

A. Traffic ticket for driving the wrong way on the Interstate, naked, with a rabid elk in the back seat.
B. Post-it note with a grape jelly stain, stuck to middle of driveway
C Postcard from Mount Rushmore, saying "Actually, I'm kind of GLAD you're not here..."
D. Blueberry scented candle in a corner of the Emergency Room, recently removed from an unmentionable orifice on some unfortunate person named Phil. (Hint: The candle is no longer quite as blueberry-scented as it used to be.)
(....Could have been worse; he could have used a Mountain Dew bottle. Those 2-liters are really... oops, I've said too much. Moving right along....)

Category IV
Four Blogs I Visited Today: (among many others)

A. Bagwine Ruminations
B. It's A Blog Eat Blog World
C. Pointless Drivel
D. Rock, Paper, Scissors, Gun


Travis said...

A rabid elk?

How exactly would one get such an animal in the backseat?

Janna said...


Answer #1: Very carefully.

Answer #2: A blender.

Answer #3: I dunno, he just appears from time to time, along with the dyslexic squid and the perpetually rotating mutant potato. Who am I to question such things?

Mr. Fabulous said...

Why get a ticket? I can't have the fucker sitting in the front seat, now can I?

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: That's what you should tell the judge, when the ticket comes up in traffic court.