Note to self: Be more numb and less fast

Last Thursday I was driving into town, not quite realizing how fast I was going.
My mind was on other things.

I was listening to R.E.M.'s "Bittersweet Me", and was just about to switch over to "So Fast, So Numb".
To my surprise, I heard a siren behind me and saw flashing lights.
I pulled over and this little young-looking cop asked for my license, registration, blah blah blah. He was nice enough about it, I guess.
He explained to me exactly how fast I was going.
Ahem.

------------------------------------------------
BRIEF CONVERSATION WITH SELF:

Self #1: So, um, should I tell the readers how fast I was going, and what the speed limit actually was?
Self #2: Nah. They already think you're nuts. Plus you've already bored Monkey Man to death again just by mentioning R.E.M.
Self #1: That reminds me, do you think I could fake my own death easier if I used glass ketchup bottles instead of plastic ones?
Self #2: What?
Self #1: What?
------------------------------------------------

So, after what seemed like forever, the nice little young-looking cop brought back my license/registration/insurance. He explained, to my great surprise and relief, that "this time" he would let me off with a warning.
Thank goodness!
I've had enough emotional upheaval for one week.
I think it's time I spent a few days hibernating under the covers with a pint of good ice cream and a CD of Automatic For The People.

Self #2: You just did it again.
Self #3: Oh. Sorry, Monkey Man.
Self #2: Hey, where's Self #1?
Self #3: I dunno.... hey, do you smell ketchup?
.