Jannaical Twitterings

Time for another potpourri of my Twitters!
Note: "Jannaical" rhymes with "manaical."
(How appropriate!)

As always, you can follow me on Twitter either by clicking HERE or by just visiting this blog and reading my updates in the sidebar.

Here are the ones I've selected to remember fondly for today:

1. I'm craving lemons. I just farted. I don't think there's a correlation. 02:49 PM July 06, 2008

2. Mornings are like salt on a paper cut. 04:14 AM July 08, 2008

3. You will all be glad to know that my armpits do not stink right now. I just checked. 11:03 PM July 09, 2008

4. I love how quiet the world is at one in the morning. Except when I hear my cat barfing on the carpet in the living room. 11:58 PM July 09, 2008

5. It's going to rain. I just ate a twix bar. My foot itches. La la la la. I think i'm on a sugar high. Bzzzzzz!!! Look! Something shiny! 05:08 PM July 10, 2008

6. People are strange. Am I a person? 05:44 PM July 10, 2008

7. Janna the insomnia queen has stayed awake all night yet AGAIN! When do I start getting cash prizes for this? Will you give me fifty bucks? 03:30 AM July 11, 2008

8. Doing Sudoku, dreaming of blueberries, and realizing I need a shower. You know. The usual summer stuff. 12:26 PM July 11, 2008

9. Note to self: If you have a bunch of diced watermelon AND a bottle of tea AND a bottle of water, you will have to pee really bad later on. 05:01 PM July 11, 2008

10. If anyone out there has a social life, can I borrow some of it? I've been sitting home alone for two days. I think my ceiling just spoke. 03:07 PM July 12, 2008

11. Insane, lonely, and thirsty. 11:26 PM July 12, 2008

12. Looking around and wondering why I'm not in bed sleeping. 02:58 AM July 13, 2008

13. It took me twelve hours to connect to the Internet today. Twelve hours!!! I hate my ISP. 07:22 PM July 13, 2008
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Next week I'll try taco sauce instead

As some of my friends will tell you, I have a tendency to keep things in my bra.
More than the usual two things, I mean.
If you read Jantics awhile back, you know how I woke up with a ketchup packet poking my boob.
It happened again, sort of.
I had another ketchup packet in my bra.
Actually I had more than one. (The exact amount is classified)

One afternoon, while in the middle of the grocery store, I felt one slip over to a VERY uncomfortable spot and poke me in a rather undesirable place with those jagged ketchup-packet edges.

I wanted SO BAD to just reach right in there and scratch where it itched, and move stuff around, but in such a public place I felt somewhat stifled. Instead, I awkwardly shoved the side of my arm against the offending area, hoping to herd the packets closer to the center valley of bra-land.

This happened repeatedly.

No doubt I appeared to be having some sort of seizure.
I could have just found an empty aisle, pulled discreetly over to the side, and THEN reached in and rooted around. But then someone could have walked by and seen me. Surely they'd have thought I was trying to steal something.
I would have been mortified, being left with no choice but to flash the stranger by lifting up my shirt and emphatically showing them that there was nothing in my bra but two boobs, a cell phone, and some ketchup.

Then they would probably nod quietly and back away slowly.

Before long, there would be cautionary posters in the store's entryway, warning customers to stay away from the weird bra lady who talks to iced tea in the parking lot.
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I made the following picture, which seems to correspond nicely with this post...
You may have seen it on Facebook's "Owned" application. I uploaded it there because I wanted to see if anyone would bid on it. :)

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Gasp! Choke!

(Long gasping choking sound)
Okay! Okay! I get it! You guys hate the Janku.
As of 1:16 in the afternoon, there are still zero comments on my most recent Janku post. Yikes.
Why such disdain? Is Janku the red-headed stepchild of poetry?
I, um.... ahem.... I still have a lot more I've written, so, uh.... this could get ugly. We can fight to the death if you want. You'll probably win. Please scatter my ashes in Canada somewhere.
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On a completely unrelated note.....
There's a new kind of Pringles out there called "Pringles Extreme: Blazin' Buffalo Wing."
I tried some, and here's my official opinion, as a connoisseur of the hot and spicy:
BLAH.
They hardly have any seasoning at all, and what IS there is certainly NOT hot or "blazin'" or "extreme" in any way. Very plain and nondescript, almost bland.
Pringles, shame on you.
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If I become really bored in the produce department someday, I plan to make a life-size statue of Johnny Depp using nothing but raw vegetables. (Guess where the two brussels sprouts go!)
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Janku 6

Here's the post that explains what a Janku is,
and here are all the previous Janku posts.

Here are today's Janku:

^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^
Burning Plastic
Will kill you soon
If you breathe deeply
^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^
Hate beets
And brussels sprouts and
Especially onions. Yuk!
^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^
Huge giant
Spider on my ceiling
Waiting to drop in my mouth
^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^
Will you sit
On my lap and quote
The works of Shakespeare?
^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^
Enjoy the smell
It first existed as
A seven layer burrito
^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^-=-^

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Custom-made storms, just for you

Choose your own storm by picking from the components below:

Rain:
* Soy Sauce
* Iced tea
* Cranberry Juice
* Elmer's Glue
* Toilet Cleaner

Thunder:
* Recordings of opera
* Lions roaring
* Space shuttle being launched
* Darth Vader breathing
* 100 accordions falling down a mine shaft

Wind:
* Lavender scent
* Grapefruit scent
* Freshly-opened-bag-of-potato-chips scent
* Fried shrimp scent
* My farts

Hail:
* Pizza rolls
* Cocktail wieners
* Charcoal briquettes
* Aspirin
* AA batteries
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Eating The Jannaverse

Awhile back, I blogged about my desire to have a sandwich named after my blog.
I have come up with something.
After extensive research, I have decided that these are the components of a Jannaverse sandwich:

1. Rye Bread. I used to hate rye bread, but now I love it. I've especially gotten hooked on rye Triscuit crackers with cheese. Yum. If you really truly hate rye, though, I'll let you substitute another kind of bread instead. Even plain old sub buns would work well.

2. Swiss cheese slices. I recommend using actual swiss cheese instead of processed.... it's so much better that way. If someday you are stuck in a cave with no alternative but to use processed cheese, I promise not to say anything.

3. Thin deli-sliced oven roasted chicken. (I used Hillshire Farms, but you could use any brand you wanted. I noticed it's harder to find chicken than turkey, for some reason. I wonder why? Chicken tastes better, in my opinion, so I'm surprised turkey is more commonly offered. Turkey is more low-fat; maybe that has something to do with it.)

4. Sharp cheddar cheese slices. (The sharper the better. See previous note about using real cheese vs. processed cheese. Hey, velveeta has its places, but this sandwich is not one of them. Try it in chili dip instead. Velveeta mixed with a can of chili, melted together in the microwave. Simple but surprisingly good. Dip potato chips in it! It's like chili cheese fries!)

5. Thin deli-sliced ham. (Again I used Hillshire Farms. I liked the fact that it came in a big resealable tub. Plus it was tasty and was sliced super-thin. I admit it's a bit more expensive than the thicker-sliced ham sandwich meat. If you need to, go ahead and get something cheaper. Or, if you're dating the deli guy, get him to slice up something special just for you.)

6. Sliced hot banana peppers. That's right. You heard me. The hotter the better. Don't let me catch you using the mild kind. Really, these things aren't all that hot at all, so you should certainly be able to handle them. They're also good on pizza. Try them! Also, during my web search for a picture to use, I saw jars of pickled habanero peppers! Those would be amazing!

7. Honey mustard and/or vinaigrette. You could even kill two birds with one stone and find a bottle of honey mustard vinaigrette. Peppercorn vinaigrette is really good too. Just a touch. Enough to give the sandwich a zesty twinge of savory flavor, but not so much that it sogs up the bread. (Note: All Canadian/Australian/British readers, please pretend that I just wrote "savoury flavour" instead.)

8. (Optional) Hot crispy bacon slices (Just because there are very few things bacon can not improve. I tried it and it was DELICIOUS. If your arteries are already slamming shut just by reading this, feel free to skip the bacon and just fantasize about it instead.)

Form the ingredients together into a sandwich, and there you go.
I've tried it with the bread toasted, I've tried it with the entire sandwich grilled (add the peppers and dressings afterward), and I've tried it untoasted. It's good either way. Pick your favorite and run with it.

Alternative possibilities:

A) If you really truly must be a wuss, you can leave off the hot peppers. The sandwich is then called an "Alternate Jannaverse".

B) Lettuce does not belong on sandwiches. Mayo belongs nowhere in the universe (barf). I would really prefer that lettuce and mayo never touch this sandwich. But if you absolutely must include them, please do it when I'm not looking. The sandwich is then known as an "Evil Alternate Jannaverse".
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Bon appetit!
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I wonder what it smells like...

While websurfing, I happened to somehow find this weird thing. It's called "Anti Monkey Butt Powder."

For those of you who apparently have a problem with Monkey Butt issues.

At least this means I am delicious

One of the many things I hate about summer is the mosquitoes. I live out in the country, near a river and a forest which can get pretty swampy sometimes. So with all the moisture, mosquitoes can get pretty bad.
Last Saturday night they were worse than ever.
There were dozens of them in my bedroom.
I killed at least ten, but there were still plenty left, waiting for me to fall asleep so they could safely feast on my blood.
Sure enough, when I woke up, I was covered in mosquito bites.
I made a trip to the store that afternoon, and bought some insect repellent coated towlettes. Before going to bed that night, I gave myself a complete wipe-down.
Of course, the mosquitoes had already gotten their fill the night before, so by then it was kind of a moot point.
Sort of like letting someone gorge themselves on cake until they're so full they couldn't eat another bite, and THEN taking the cake away from them and telling them they can't have any more.


..
(My cats, of course, are referring to THIS post, where I was caught sitting in my car, talking to my beverages.)
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It's still not too late to give me cheesecake

I liked the idea of posting various Twitters I've done, so today will include a list of thirteen more.
As always, you can follow me on Twitter either by clicking HERE or by just visiting this blog and reading my updates in the sidebar. (Though right now at this very minute for some reason the Twitter widget doesn't seem to be working.... someone please go to Twitter headquarters and beat them with dry spaghetti until they fix things).

(Note: The ones where I complain about not being able to connect? Those were submitted through texting.)

1. Just got back from giving manicure to sweet little old lady. She fed me cheesecake! None of YOU have ever fed me cheesecake... 04:36 PM June 26, 2008

2. I've discovered that I LOVE rye Triscuits. I used to hate rye stuff but now I crave it more than a scurvy sailor lusts for a glass of Tang. 02:17 AM June 27, 2008

3. It is hot enough to melt the sweat off a penguin's balls. 02:11 PM June 27, 2008

4. So, since i can't connect to the net, I suppose I may have to actually, like, read a book or something. 04:53 PM June 28, 2008

5. I hate my ISP! Can't connect at all. Tried about 200 times. It worked about 12 times but would boot me a minute later. Every time. 09:13 PM June 28, 2008

6. Recharging my cell phone so I can put it back in my bra.... which is the most exciting thing I've done all day. I know. Sad. 08:38 PM June 29, 2008

7. Listening to my neighbor mow his lawn. Listening to my cat lick her tail. Listening to the fan whooshing. Sigh. My mind is empty. Wordless. 06:29 PM June 30, 2008

8. I think I will actually go to bed early tonight and fall asleep at a decent hour. I know, WHO IS this person?? What have I done? Who am I? 07:41 PM June 30, 2008

9. Back online.... for now, at least, until my ISP remembers it hates me. 04:03 PM July 02, 2008

10. Off the computer. Texting. The storm is getting worse, the sky is darker, and it just started hailing. Where's Toto? 05:49 PM July 02, 2008

11. I am about to have a big bowl of Cocoa Pebbles. Chocolate is the most amazing substance on the planet. I hear oxygen is good too. 07:24 PM July 03, 2008

12. Wow, the sun is bright. Ugh. I think I'm turning into a vampire. That's a shame, cuz I really love garlic. 05:48 AM July 05, 2008

13. Full of pizza and breadsticks and root beer. If you poked me with a pin, I would explode. POW!!! 06:42 PM July 05, 2008
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Hello? Is this thing on?

On Sunday, I drove into town to buy a few things at the store. One of the things I got was a bottle of Lipton tea. It looked so refreshing, sitting there in the cooler, ice cold.
Once I got out to the car, I sat there for a moment with the AC on. I took the bottle of tea out of the grocery bag and held it against the side of my face. so cold.

"Aaahhh. Very nice," I sighed in relief, cursing summer once again.

Then I realized other cars were driving by, and the drivers could see me. It dawned on me that I was holding the bottle of tea similar to a telephone, and people were probably wondering what I was saying and who I was trying to reach.

Oops.
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splat

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Janku 5

Here's the post that explains what a Janku is,
and here are all the previous Janku posts.

And....
Here are today's Janku:

*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*
Full of water,
Tea, soda, and punch
I will pee a lot tonight
*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*
Too tired
Can't entertain this
Invisible polar bear
*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*
Silly moth, flying off
Again, again
Into the brightest hot lightbulb
*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*
Cookies
Round chewable joy
Surrounded by warm contentment
*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*
I can see
Through the plastic wrap
Your balls are shiny today
*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*~-~*^*

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Manic Monday: Lick

**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-
Kitty likes to lick my face
Cute purring shedding mass
And still I can not shake the thought
He also licks his ass
**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-
Humans have the softest paper
To wipe us down below
But cats have rough and scratchy tongues
OUCH! What a way to go.
**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-**-
--Janna, July 2008
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See my other blogs for more Manic Monday posts:
Jantics: I wrote a song....
Jantrails: Melting my money away
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Ignoring the body of evidence

Today's doodle theme is "Body".
This is the one that was the hardest for me, because I had no idea what to draw for it.
The other doodles I drew a week in advance, and had them all pre-loaded and set to post each day. It was like being on a mini blog-vacation, since all my posts had been taken care of for the whole week.
Except for "body".
Finally, on Wednesday afternoon, I was inspired to draw this:


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Right on schedule

Today's doodle theme is "pet".
I have three cats.
I love them, really I do....

.
.
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If you ever see all four together, run away

Today's doodle theme is "evil".
There are a lot of different ways to depict this, of course.
I decided to just go ahead and tell the truth.

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Is it tea time yet?

Today's doodle theme is "vacation."

I'd love to vacation in England, Scotland, or Ireland, or any combination thereof.
Though I don't know if they would love me as much as I would love them:

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Oh, and they call vacation "Going on holiday".
Pass the fish and chips.
God save the Queen.
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It's a good thing I'm not a farmer

Plants hate me.
I've never been able to keep houseplants alive.
Gardens are something I can only dream of.
Therefore, with today's doodle theme being "Garden", I bring you this:

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In real life, they don't use a lightning bolt

This is day #2 of "Doodle Week".
Today's theme is Outer Space.
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Manic Monday: Bug

I should probably have saved yesterday's post for Manic Monday. It certainly fits the topic, and it's embarrassing enough to delight nearly everyone.
Go ahead.... read it. I'll wait while you laugh and point and snicker.
Done?
Ok.

Since this is the first day of doodle week, and the theme is "bug", I drew something.

Seems fair, right?

On my other blogs, I've done Manic Monday posts as well:
Check out Jantrails if you like playing Scrabulous on Facebook.
And, if you're in the mood to hear me complain, check out Jantics.
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I am so embarrassed

I was going a little stir-crazy Saturday evening, so I drove into town for no real reason other than to help smooth out my sanity. I had a cheap burger at McDonald's and then sat in a grocery store parking lot for awhile, undoubtedly looking like a suspiciously depressed zombie.
Then I drove home.
It was really dark out, because by then it was about 1:30 in the morning.

Halfway between my car and the porch, I noticed a reflection of something down near the ground at my feet.

Something moving.

Yikes, I thought.

It was too dark to see what it was, but it looked like the moonlight was reflected off an eye, and I could see the reflection moving around.
I live out in the country, and we've got plenty of wild animals out here. Vermin, critters, call them what you will. There are raccoons, skunks, possums, rabbits, squirrels, groundhogs, and who knows what else. It just comes with the territory.
They're supposed to be scared of people, and generally run away when they're approached.
Yet this thing wasn't scared at all, and it was right in front of me.

Alarmed, I tried playing the "I'm human, therefore I'm superior" card. (HA!)

I shouted "HEY!!", loudly and sharply.

Nothing.

Again, I shouted "Get!!! GET!!!!!", proud that I was able to project an air of "forcefulness and control" instead of "fear and weakness".

Nothing.

At this point my eyes had adjusted to the darkness a little bit better, and I was able to see what it was.
There was no eyeball reflecting the moonlight.
I was seeing a firefly.
It was lit, and slowly moving around near the ground at my feet.
No critter, no vermin, no rabid wild creature which had mutated into a fearless monster.
Just a bug.

By now I realized I had definitely shouted loud enough to wake up the neighbors.

Embarrassed, I hurried past the fly and shut the front door behind me.
Oops.
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Need something to do?

Want a job as an air traffic controller? Worried that you won't get the job because you're blind? No problem. You can apply in braille. Seriously. Scary.

Looking for a hobby but don't know what to collect? You can collect cow farts in a nice pretty pink tank just like this one.

Thank me later.
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We must rise up and demand our cream filling!

Have you ever noticed how food doesn't look the same as the picture on the package?
The picture makes it look pretty good-- at least good enough for you to seriously consider buying it. But when it's opened up and examined in the privacy of your own home, the ugly truth is revealed.
And THIS website captures it in side-by-side picture comparisons.
Of course, it's in German, so I can't understand what the heck any of it is saying, but still. The pictures say it all.
Here are two examples.

The first one makes me want to scream "WHERE IS THE REST OF THE FILLING???!!!"
The second one just kind of makes me feel sick.

Go check out the site. I am totally fascinated by it. And here's an article about the site.
Some of the foods actually DO resemble the pictures on the packages.
Others, though.... (**shudder**)
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I love Canada! No, really!

Tons of cool people are from Canada. Just look at this list.

Plus, I have a few readers from Canada too, like Bluepaintred and Gwenhwyfar. They're both in Saskatchewan. (If you're from Canada, let me know in the comments! I promise to love you! Unless that would make you feel creepy).

And, last Tuesday at ABC group, I found out that Kyle#2 Fred is from Canada also. Saskatchewan, no less! I mean, he lives here in Michigan now, but he started out in Canada, so he still radiates some residual coolness vibes.

And let's not forget about this guy in Ontario, who got arrested for drunk-driving his lawnmower down the sidewalk.

I embrace all of you.
Let's go eat maple leaf salads or something.
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Spontaneous Janna.... slightly better than spontaneous combustion

As you know, I've been on Twitter for a few weeks now.
I like it because it helps me express myself during my bursts of spontaneity. For example, if I have a burning need to tell the world that I just farted, I now have a venue to do that.

Here are some of the Twitters I've done since I started:

1) I am so tired I could fall asleep even while being flogged with strands of fettucine alfredo. And freshly ground pepper. 09:06 AM June 20, 2008

2) Went out for chinese. Yummy. Now i'm going grocery shopping. So tired. Hope i don't fall asleep in the produce section. 03:03 PM June 20, 2008

3) My cell phone is supposed to avoid humidity. So, um, is it a bad idea to keep it in my bra during 80 degree weather? Hmmmmmm..... 06:10 PM June 20, 2008

4) Eating Ritz crackers, plain, wishing there was cheese to go with them. Too tired to go buy any. Plus, I'd have to actually put clothes on. 08:33 PM June 21, 2008

5) Multitasking! I can sneeze and pee at the same time! 01:55 AM June 22, 2008

6) Getting ready to take more Excedrin. It's hard to maintain a proper level of insanity when one has a headache. I have standards. 10:56 PM June 22, 2008

7) No, really, I have standards. Stop giggling. 10:59 PM June 22, 2008

8) Waiting patiently to become a millionaire so it won't matter as much whether gas hits $5.00 a gallon this summer. 01:04 AM June 23, 2008

9) All i want is to be loved. Well, that and about fifty bucks. No, wait... Seventy-five. 04:17 PM June 23, 2008

10) Come to think of it, it might be nice if I had an imaginary friend who was a wombat. Do wombats eat less when they're imaginary? 12:39 AM June 24, 2008

11) I realize I am just a crazy single lady who talks to her cats and herself. I'm starting to think more and more about wombats. Come hug me. 12:35 AM June 25, 2008

12) It's almost three in the morning. I wonder if anyone would notice if I went out and danced topless in my front yard. 01:48 AM June 25, 2008

13) Living single and alone means you can eat a blueberry donut for dinner and nobody says anything. 08:14 PM June 25, 2008
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If you're on Twitter, or if you feel like trying it, feel free to follow me. Click here.
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Wordless Wednesday

Math Problem For Today

Joe is running at a speed of ten miles an hour. Assuming he has an average body temperature of 98.6, and a height of 5'11", how long will it take before his wife catches up to him and forces him to return home and clean the pee off the toilet seat?
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The unique taste of disillusionment and groin sweat

I remember, growing up in the 70's, I saw
ads for "Fruit Stripe" gum. It looked yummy, but every time I actually tried it, I was always disappointed. I wanted delicious intense genuine fruitiness and fresh flavors.
Instead it tasted like artificial flavor drenched in sugar.
Which, of course, is exactly what it was.

And don't even get me started on the revolting abomination known as "Juicy Fruit" gum. It's neither juicy nor fruity. It tastes nothing like any fruit I have ever eaten. It not orange, or lemon, or raspberry, or any other recognizable flavor. It's just "sweet" in a yellow package. The fact that they refer to it as "fruit flavor" fills my soul with a dark nameless bitterness, much like a dog that has been poked too many times.

Luckily, I rarely chew gum these days.

Here are ten chewing gum flavors that might, hypothetically, be worse than either of the aforementioned brands:

1) Motor oil
2) Beach sand
3) Preparation H
4) Fertilizer
5) Dick Cheney's left kidney
6) Limburger cheese
7) Skunk
8) Groin sweat
9) The agony of defeat
10) Sushi
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Come see me over at my other blogs today:
Jantics: Fearing the asphalt stripes of death
Jantrails: Admitting my ignorance of all things beer-related
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Here I am!

Hi! It's just me, checking in to make sure at least some of you are still reading.
Sorry I wasn't able to post yesterday.
I'm spending Sunday with my family too, but I'll be back in the evening. See you then, I hope.

I want this job.
Where do I apply?

Note: I meant I wanted a job as the testER, not the testEE.
Not that I have anything against testes.
Ha! :)

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Have a good weekend

I may not be online for much of the weekend, so I'm counting on all of you to be really sad and forlorn about my absence. Start practicing dejected facial expressions now and avoid the rush.

In the meantime, go try this Visual DNA thingy.
I'm hoping that by clicking HERE, you can see my test results.
If not, let me know, and I'll go shout at the the computer screen or curl up in a corner somewhere. That sometimes works.

Oh, and before I go, here's one more thing I did, just for you.

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Hopefully Kermit will forgive me

Wednesday night, on the way back from Hillsdale, it was raining really hard. It had been raining all evening, along with some nasty storms.
I saw something bouncing across the road and realized at the last moment that it was a frog (or a toad). I didn't want to swerve on wet pavement, so I kept going straight, and....
**thunk**
I hit him.
I killed a poor defenseless frog (or toad).
As I kept going, I noticed that there were a lot more frogs (or toads) trying to cross the road. I counted at least seven. Plus there were little blobs in the road, as if several others had already gotten hit by previous vehicles.
How odd.
I've never seen that many amphibians crossing the road at once.
Kinda like a real-life version of "Frogger".
(Or Toader.)
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Exceedingly long boring post no one could possibly want to read

I'm here, I'm here.
Today's post is a little late because I was having Internet connection problems AGAIN last night. I won't go into that, except to say I hate my ISP.
Anyway, last night was band and ABC group.

Semi-quick history of ABC group:
Every Tuesday night there is a rehearsal for the Hillsdale Community Wind Symphony. Some of us with similar bizarre personalities have bonded together and gotten into the habit of socializing after the rehearsal.
Here are all the posts where I've mentioned band and people from ABC group.

First ABC group was held at an Italian restaurant called Cavoni's, but after a new waitress started being really rude to us, we switched to another place called The Hunt Club. But that was a bit too expensive for some of us (including me), so we then switched to just meeting every week at Jason's house. Well, then Jason moved (it wasn't because of us, I swear). So we had to find a new place.

Those of you familiar with the city of Hillsdale know that there is almost no place open after 10:00 pm.

Except McDonalds.
So, sometimes we went to McDonalds, and once in a great while we went back to The Hunt Club. Either way, we'd stay in the parking lot afterward, chatting away until well after midnight, as usual. Good quality time, talking and interacting and being our funny silly selves. I cherish this time every week.

Then a new person joined the band: Kyle #2. (Sometimes we call him "Fred" for no reason, just so we don't have to confuse ourselves with two Kyles). For the past two weeks, he has graciously allowed us to meet at his house after band. Kyle #2 Fred is cool, he's an excellent musician, and he fits right in with our group. Kyle #2 Fred is loved by all.

So, it appears that ABC group will now be held at Kyle #2's Fred's house.

Have I bored all of you yet?
Are your eyes glazed over, with drool dribbling down your chin?
Please say yes.
I'm hoping no one is reading now, because I have some confessions to make.

First, I find "Guitar Hero" really annoying. It's hard to explain why. You'd think that since I have two degrees in music performance and music therapy, I'd welcome anything that makes music more accessible to the general public. Yet, um.... I guess it's not the concept of the game, so much as having to be around other people who are playing it. I find it boring, boring, boring to be in a room where people are focused only on Guitar Hero. It almost seems rude somehow; like everyone else in the room is being ignored for hours on end. (If you're all by yourself, playing it in a closet somewhere, then hey, that's fine with me. No problem. Have a blast. Stay hydrated.)

Or, perhaps I'm a bit of a snob, believing that the real thing (with real instruments and real music) is better than a cheap facsimile thereof. Sigh. Please don't hate me.

Well, even worse than Guitar Hero, is Rock Band.
Instead of just one fake guitar, it involves a whole group with a fake guitar, fake bass, drums, and microphone.
Much to my horror, some of our group has gotten into that.
It started a couple months ago, back when we were meeting at Jason's house. In fact, it was at the last party he ever threw before he moved. Someone (Curtis?) went out and bought Rock Band. The entire party was (in my opinion) ruined because people focused on that instead of spending quality time talking and interacting with one another. I actually sat at the dining room table and read a book while this was going on. (For hours and hours and hours on end).

Even though I was sad Jason moved, part of me was glad that this meant we wouldn't have to be subjected to any more Guitar Hero or Rock Band.

Irony is such a bitch.

Kyle #2 Fred has "Rock Band" set up in his living room.

And the group has been playing it for the past two weeks.
It honestly makes me wonder if I still fit into this group any more.

Last night some of them talked me into taking the microphone and singing for a couple of the songs.
So I can honestly say I have tried it.
The singing part was "okay." I confess.
I feel dirty admitting it, but yes. The singing gig was "okay."

Still, I don't really relish the idea of this happening every week.
It wouldn't be so bad if there was anyplace else to sit, but Kyle#2 Fred's house only has seating in the living room. I think that, if I'm going to stay in this group, maybe I'll just bring a chair of my own and sit out on the porch with a book and a bottle of pop.

Scary thought I just had: It might actually be cool if there was a classical music version of this game, which had instruments like violin, viola, cello, trumpet, flute, tuba, oboe, french horn, bassoon, tympani, string bass, trombone, harp, clarinet, and euphonium. And a glockenspiel.
Yes.... THAT might be cool.

**sob** I can't believe I just said that.

Please tell me you weren't listening.
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Lesson for today

I know it's kind of hard to read, but...
Here's why it's important to proofread your work.

"Try Our New Anus Burger."

Would you like fries with that?
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