Manic Monday: Pride

The Manic Monday theme is "pride," and I am stumped.

I just can't think of anything funny to say.
My brain resembles cookie dough with raisins in it.
(I hate raisins.)

I even searched through my archives, to see if I'd ever used the word "Pride" before in a post.
It turns out that I have used it twice. HERE and HERE.

I searched for "Proud" and found THIS and THIS and THIS, among others.

Yet, today, today my mind is empty.
In a way, that's kind of nice.
And still, I'm not proud of it. :)

Send me your receipt, and the appropriate forms completed in triplicate, and I'll refund the money you spent on today's post.
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Various Thoughts

1) I bet people would take poodles more seriously if they (the poodles) had tusks.

2) Why isn't there chocolate Shredded Wheat?

3) If we can't have flying cars, we should at least be able to have flying underwear. (Maxi pads with "wings" don't count)

4) If farts smelled like lavender, beans would be more popular.
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The stinky mystery is solved

Remember THIS post, where I mentioned that I smelled a skunk nearby?
The morning after, I went outside to see if there were any dead skunks in the road or in the yard.
Didn't see any.
Yet, the smell was still lingering a bit. Even after a couple days had gone by, there was still a hint of skunk.
Today, on my way out to the car, I noticed something.
There's a hole that the groundhogs dug under the edge of the house, and when I peered into that hole, I saw a bit of white fur.
Upon further inspection, I realized that a skunk had crawled under there and died.
Apparently he sprayed one last time before dying last Friday night, and that's what I'd been smelling.
So, um.... he'd been there for almost a whole week before I realized this.
Yeah.

(**cough** **COUGH**)

He's been disposed of.
And I've got the fan going.
And the can of air freshener is never far away.

Try not to visit anytime soon.
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With no one watching....

As I mentioned yesterday on Twitter, one of the things about being single and alone is that you can eat a blueberry donut for your dinner, and no one says anything.

Other things I can do while I'm single, that might seem odd to a significant other:

1) Spend eight hours listening to the exact same song over and over and over again.
2) Keep a box of Triscuits and a can of spray cheese next to the computer.
3) Stay up til five in the morning, wondering why I'm not asleep
4) Talk to my cats, demonstrating how to poop in a toilet instead of on the floor
5) Spontaneously start singing Monty Python songs for no reason
6) Walk outside in the middle of the night and point up at the sky as if I see a UFO there, wondering if the neighbors (or passing motorists) notice.
7) Talk to an imaginary butler named "Orrington" and ask him why nothing ever gets done around here.
8) Write weird poems called "Janku" that nobody seems to like except Whall.
9) Eat Twizzlers while pretending I'm a giant bulldog chewing my leash off
10) Light a candle to mourn the loss of the Chicken Club Chalupa from the Taco Bell menu.
11) And, while we're at it, let's mourn the loss of the Cheesy Gordita Crunch too.
12) Make up new swear words no one else understands, like "Zartch!"
13) Pretend I'm on a cooking show called "People who barely care enough to turn the microwave on."
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Wordless Wednesday

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Too tired to make better analogies

I'm looking forward to going to band tonight, even though I'm so tired I could rip the ninth leg off a mutant spider.
That's what people do when they're tired, right?
I never know anymore.
Anyway, band should be fun.
I always end up feeling slightly more sane afterward, in much the same way that a lantern battery is slightly quieter than a sleeping chicken.
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Now it all makes sense....

Depressed? Frustrated? Angry? Jealous?
Can't afford therapy?
No problem!
Try this:

http://www.dreamwv.com/shrink/shrink.html

There, now don't you feel better?
I, for one, see things in a whole new light.... and will probably go pick some flowers or something, just as soon as I begin the process of vanquishing all my enemies into a fine powder.
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Keep the door unlocked

Since I'm a night person, I'd probably make a good vampire.
Instead of drinking your blood, though, I'd probably rather just raid your fridge.
(Oooh, is that cheesecake?)
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Janku 4

Here are the rules, and here are all the ones I've done so far.

Here are the new ones!

-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-
Notice the
Toilet paper is
Stuck to YOUR shoe today
-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-
Imagine
Peanut butter and
One giant Saint Bernard
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I wish I knew
Where all my money went
Wait, did YOU steal it?
-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-
Growing older
Waiting in line
At the drive-thru forever
-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-
Don't use a
Butter knife to stab
Burglars in the.... eh, go ahead.
-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-*-=-

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Did it work? Did it? Huh?

You know those complex labyrinth mazes you can wander through? Sometimes they're made of bushes or tall shrubs, sometimes cornfields. You enter at one end and wander helplessly until, if the planets are aligned juuuuust right, you finally make your way safely out the other side. This can take hours or weeks or decades, depending on your determination, your sanity, and the amount of food rations you brought with you.

I feel this way a lot when I try to make computers do what I want them to do.
Especially if it's something online that I have to get "help" on, by clicking on an FAQ that never quite seems to understand what I'm asking.

It's amazing that I don't drink more.

Anyway, the reason I bring this up is because I've spent awhile online today battling various computer issues. I posted about one over at Jantrails a couple hours ago, and now there's one I'm figuring out with Twitter as well.
I want to make it so that Twitter can capture an RSS feed of each blog post, and Tweet to update my "followers" that I've just posted something.
I see that some other people have installed that option, through various different programs. There's Twitterfeed, TwitterTools, and a whole bunch of other crap you can wade through here, if you have the stamina to bear it.

I think maybe, just maybe, I've got it figured out.
I'm going with Twitterfeed, which required me to have something called an "OpenID", which apparently I already have, since I'm the owner of a Blogspot blog.


I've filled out all the junk, and.... if I did it right, this post should (SHOULD!!!!) be appearing in my Twitter list now.

Please, oh please.
Oh please.
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Ack!

For the most part, I like living in the country.
It's quiet, and the crime rate is low. The scenery is pretty, and I feel close to nature.
However, this evening I would trade it all in for a nice apartment in a big city.
This is because there is the nasty rotten odor of SKUNK permeating my house right now.
I first noticed it around 2:00 in the morning. It was so bad it woke me up, pouring in the bedroom window. Really horrendous. It's four in the morning right now and I can still smell it. There's no way I can get back to sleep now.
That's a shame, because I've been having a bad bout of insomnia lately and had FINALLY gotten to sleep for just a few hours.

Ugh.

Guilty as charged

There's a new kind of Snickers bar out there.

It's called Snickers "Charged."
They've sorta turned it into an energy bar; it's got B-vitamins, Taurine and caffeine.

There's actually a warning label on the side that says: "Not recommended for children, pregnant women, or people sensitive to caffeine."

So, I bought one, and I'm about to try it for the very first time.
I'll blog about my opinion immediately afterward.
Everybody ready?
Get ready.
Here goes....
**opening the package**
**taking a bite**

It starts out tasting exactly the same as a regular Snickers bar.
Then there's this strange aftertaste. Kind of sour/bitter. Not good.
Must be the vitamins. Or the caffeine. Or the taurine.

I see now why it shouldn't be fed to children.
The kids would react by saying "Ugh, mommy, this tastes like CRAP!"
And then the kids would get their mouths washed out with soap for cursing, and then the kids would notice that the soap actually tasted better, and then we'd have an epidemic of soap-eating kids. Soap can't possibly be good for your brain cells, and we'd have a generation of kids growing up with an IQ of 24, and one of them would have to end up being President someday.
Although...
Nah. I won't say it. The joke's too easy.
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Note to self: Behave Suspiciously

One of the neat things my new computer has is something called Google Earth. You can see actual satellite images of ANYPLACE on the planet. And it's kinda scary how detailed they get.... sometimes.
I've peeked at all sorts of places on the globe, like Buckingham Palace, Easter Island, Egypt, the Bahamas, and islands I never knew existed. Some are tiny pimple dots out in the middle of the ocean, yet when you zoom in, you find that there's a real island out there, with beaches and trees and everything.
Here's what annoys me, though. The resolution isn't the same everywhere. Those teeny pimple-islands out in the middle of nowhere? They have GREAT resolution. It's breathtaking.
But Michigan? We have lousy resolution. Fuzzy and meaningless.

Here, lemme demonstrate.


This is the closest I can get to seeing a view of my property.
(Click to enlarge).
Obviously the green stuff is forest. The beige stuff is fields. I'm somewhere around that dark orange field, I think. But I can't see ANY houses at all. The rest of Michigan is mostly just as bad (Except for the BIG cities). This bugs me. Am I not important enough to be monitored by government satellites? Have I not acted peculiar enough? Must I ramp it up a notch just so I can see my property more clearly?
Sigh.

In stark contrast, here is a satellite view of one of YOUR houses.
(I won't say who.... or which house it is.)

See how much better the resolution is there?
I'm jealous.

And here's a teeny tiny group of islands out in the Indian Ocean, halfway between India and Australia. They're the Cocos Islands.... Here's an overall view:
(click to enlarge)
Look at that! You can see the surface of the ocean! See the waves? See the clouds? See the shadow of the clouds on the ocean? Wow!
And here is a close-up of the northernmost tip of West Island.
(click to enlarge)

See all that detail? See the individual TREES? And the roads?
Why not have THAT much detail in rural Michigan, where lots more people live?

Clearly I need to do something to make the satellites look more closely at my part of the planet.

Here are some possibilities:

1) Announce that every Thursday is "bend over naked" day.
2) Start rumor that I have secretly developed a car which gets 90 miles per gallon every time George Bush mispronounces the word "nuclear".
3) Declare war on Indiana. No reason.
4) Start making crop circles in the nearby fields.
5) Send anonymous message to Washington that Michigan is thinking of joining Canada.
6) Kidnap several people from the Cocos Islands and take them to Detroit. (Assuming "several" people actually live there to kidnap)
7) Take a trip to NASA headquarters, roam aimlessly outside the gates, and talk loudly to self, saying "If only YOU knew what I KNOW about Michigan!"
8) Declare war on Ohio. No reason.
9) Spray paint a bunch of arrows pointing across US highways, pointing toward Michigan.
10) Send Michigan postcard to the creator of Google Earth, with message on back, saying "This just in! Michigan is POPULATED!"
11) Step outside and shout really loud up at the satellites: "I'm over HERE! Over HERE!"
12) Declare war on Illinois. No reason.
13) Buy a hot-air balloon and a good digital camera, and just float above my property and take my own pictures.
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Wish me luck.
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Now everyone needs to jump off a cliff...

It seems like almost everyone is doing Twitter these days.
Therefore, as part of my never ending search for love and acceptance and something resembling a ticket to the "in-crowd", I have signed up for Twitter.

Just kidding. I know I'll never be part of the In-Crowd.

I have signed up for Twitter, though.

If you honestly care about my sometimes-boring life, you can follow me by either clicking HERE or by just coming to my blog and reading the Twitter widget in my sidebar. (It's there somewhere.... see it?)

I know. It's kind of a plain ugly widget, right now. I'm trying to find one that looks better.

Can I still have some of that love and acceptance anyway?
Can we, like, join hands and sing Monty Python songs and send out for pizza?
No, wait.... ice cream. I'd rather have ice cream right now.
I'd better Twitter about that....
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Thinking Quietly

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Manic Monday: Will

If, when I die, I have to leave all my worldly possessions to bloggers, here is the will I would make:

1) My harp, I leave to Kyle, but only if he starts posting more often on his blog. (January? Oh, Kyle, Kyle, Kyle....) If he promises to post at least twice every week for the next five years, he can also have my french horns, my keyboard, my dulcimer, and my cello.

2) Any leftover frozen burritos in my freezer go to Meloncutter. Please don't fart in my general direction after I'm dead. I will give you list of people you can fart at instead.

3) My semiprecious stones and crystals go to Steve, but only if he starts posting stuff on his blog again. If he agrees to post every day for the next five years, he also gets a surprise bonus item to be revealed at my death.

4) My three cats will go to Morgen. This will give him a total of eight cats. It'll be interesting to see how he keeps from going insane.

5) My videotapes of Monty Python will go to Mik over at Slightly Mordant.

6) Any cheese remaining in my fridge will go to Michael C. over at The Wonderful World Of Nothing Worthwhile. He must do a blog post for each time he eats some of it, and the posts must include pictures of the cheese.

7) My Fab paraphenalia goes to Gwen. Oh, and she also gets that deer skull that's behind the garage.

8) Fab gets any bottles of Dasani water I have in the fridge. Oh, wait, he also gets to take Jesus back. And I think he can have all my gel pens, too.

9) My bottle of Sriracha hot sauce goes to Desert Songbird.

10) My Brooks & Dunn CD, which I don't often admit listening to (because it qualifies as Country Music) goes to Wayne over at The Blog Of Whall.

11) My cosmetology textbook goes to Wayne over at Wayne's World. I want him to draw funny mustaches and beards on all of the models, and post pictures of some of them.

12) My extension cords and light bulbs go to Shelli. No reason.

13) My acrylic paints go to Marilyn. I want her to make a sign to be placed next to my tombstone.... something funny... like "Wow, I can't wait to blog about THIS!"

14) Any cookbooks which contain any recipes for cake go to Travis. He must pick three favorite recipes, and spend an entire evening preparing them with loved ones instead of watching dancing shows on TV.

15) Cincy Diva, Metalmom, and Onionboy all get to fight over my CD's, kitchen utensils, and personal hygiene products. They must also choose items from these categories that will go to Bee, Vinnie, and Lynda. All six of them must also learn to dance the fox trot. No reason. Maybe Travis can watch.

If you weren't mentioned here, it doesn't mean I don' t love you. It means instead that you get to fight over everything else! I've got a TON of junk. Gather it all in a big pile in the front yard, and sort through it until you find at least one thing you like.
Be sure to do a blog post on it.

Thanks for reading.
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This is all I've got today, folks

Whenever I carry my cell phone in my bra, it sometimes looks like I have a weird growth coming out of my boobs. I feel like I should be wearing a breast cancer awareness ribbon or something.

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Y'know that "Head-On" stuff? You put it on your forehead (or wherever your head hurts) and it helps ease headaches?
The commercial is annoying, but the stuff is actually pretty cool. Literally and figuratively. It feels sort of like menthol. I like it. It doesn't take away migraines, but it does help with regular headaches.
Oh, and I learned that it melts if you leave it in a hot car. Write that down.

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Taco Bell has these new fruity slushy things called "Fruitista Freezes". They come in strawberry and mango. I tried the strawberry one yesterday and can officially report that it is awesome. Kinda small, though: Just a little 16 oz cup for $1.29. Still, very yummy.

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Today I produced a fart that sounded suspiciously like a drunk duck.

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Janku 3

HERE is the post that explains the rules. HERE's the 2nd installment I did a few days ago.

And here is the next installment:

-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-

Poor nudists

They must really hate

Giant hungry mosquitoes

-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-

There's one

Curly hair in my sink now

Please don't pee there

-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-

I beg you

Bring me chocolate

And I won't jump off this ledge

-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-

Look at that

Big cat turd on my carpet

Use the litter box, dammit!

-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-

Cholesterol

Coats my arteries

Bacon cheeseburgers rule

-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-=-.-

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More Random Things About Janna

It's been a LONG time since I've posted an installment of "Random Things About Janna". In fact, it's been over a YEAR. Wow.
I can't believe it's been that long.
Here are the previous installments. (Scroll down).

The last one ended with #65, so here's a new batch, starting with #66:

66) My left elbow and left knee are dry and scratchy, but my right elbow and right knee aren't. I am asymmetrically roughened!

67) I can crochet but I cannot knit.

68) I love giant fluffy bath towels.

69) I like classical music a lot more than country music. I like country music slightly more than the sound of a dentist's drill.

70) I think it would be neat to have a pet iguana.

71) It might also be cool to have a tarantula. (Sorry, Travis! Think of cake! Think of cake!)
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The other two flavors!

A few days ago I posted about the three new flavors of Mountain Dew (Supernova, Voltage, and Revolution). I blogged about my opinion of "Revolution".

Now it's time for me to try the other two.
I have a bottle of "Supernova" and a bottle of "Voltage" right here with me.

Everyone sit down and get comfy... but still try to maintain an aura of apprehensive excitement. Open your eyes a little wider...
Yes. That's it.

Ok, here we go!
Opening the bottle of VOLTAGE first....

On the label, it says "Charged with raspberry citrus flavor and ginseng".

Unscrewing the cap.... taking a drink....

Hm.

Very nondescript. I taste neither raspberry nor citrus. It tastes like.... nothing. Just sweet liquid with bubbles in it and a vague hint of forgotten fruitiness that is barely worth mentioning.

Sad.

Now for the SUPERNOVA.

This is the pink one. On the label it says "With a blast of strawberry melon flavor and ginseng."

Trying it....

* pause*

Well, there is at least enough flavor to detect the strawberry. And maybe a tiny whisper of melon. Not much, though. Not as fruity as I was hoping. Mostly it's just bubbly sugar water with some artificial berry thrown in for good measure.

My verdict is that none of the three are as good as regular Mountain Dew. If I had to choose a favorite, I'd pick the one I tried last time; the blueberry one.

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Five flavors Mountain Dew should NOT try:

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1) Pesticide Punch

2) Weasel Droppings

3) Peppercorn Vinaigrette

4) Mud Puddle

5) Antifreeze

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Though I probably shouldn't have said that, because now I've given them ideas.

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Ignore the flushing sound in the background

I've been drinking a lot of water lately. A LOT of water.

I pee so much, I resemble one of those fancy water fountains over in Europe or Home Depot somewhere.

I guess you probably didn't need to know that, but hey.

Maybe I can hire myself out, to stand in people's ponds and gardens.

Should I charge by the hour, or the amount of peeing I do?

Must remember to research this.

Oh, and last week, when I posted about my new computer, I mentioned that it had Windows NT.

Ooops. My bad.

Actually it has Windows XP.

Apparently there's a difference.

Heh.

I've edited the post, so it says the right thing now.

Hopefully this means the squad of computer geeks will stop holding my cats hostage.

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Would YOU look under there?

How many of you guys keep "valuables" in your underwear?

No, no, it's ok. You don't have to show me.

Put that away.

Actually, I was referring to THIS thing I found online.

It's a pair of underwear with a velcro compartment where you can keep your spare cash and diamonds and illegal substances and whatever else you feel the need to hide.

But it's not a pair you actually wear. It's a decoy. It's got this icky giant skid mark on the back, to hopefully discourage anyone from searching there for stuff.

This will work best if you live alone and are trying to deter burglars and nosy guests.

If you live WITH someone who happens to do your laundry, you might wanna warn them first, or else your precious belongings may end up either

(1) in the washing machine

(2) in a landfill

(3) in a pile of burning garbage

(4) soaking in a big vat of bleach.

Best of all, they're only ten bucks!

Though I suppose if you wanted to, you could make your own for free.

Well, almost free. Taco Bell is having a new value menu this summer.

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Janku 2

Back, by popular demand, it's more Janku!
Here are the rules, in case you missed the previous Janku post I did:

The first line has four vowels,
The second line has six vowels,
And the third line has eight vowels.

"Y" does not count as a vowel here; only AEIOU.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Ripe armpits

Attack with malice

You forgot deodorant

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

He's flatter now

Unfortunate bug

Look at the greenish guts

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fur, more fur

Shed before my eyes

Black cat hair everywhere

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

I bit you

Hey, nothing personal

It just felt right at the time

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

UFO here

Let's probe you now

Oh, look, is that a gerbil?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

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Oh, by the way, I totally lied about that "popular demand" thing. Nobody asked for more. But, y'know, I'm going to pretend that you did.
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Janna's Revolution...

Mountain Dew has three new flavors.

They're called Revolution, Supernova, and Voltage.

Apparently Mountain Dew is having this "Vote for your favorite flavor" thingy. Their site is called "Dewmocracy."

Warning: The page loads up with this annoying music. They took perfectly good classical-type music and adulterated it by merging it with hip-hop. Sort of like Mozart after a horrifying nuclear accident. (It reminds me of Clarke's Trumpet Voluntary combined with... with... [insert name of hip-hop artist here].)

Anyway, I bought a bottle of one of the flavors and am about to try it for the very first time. I'll blog about my impressions immediately afterward!

The flavor I chose was "Revolution."

The soda is light blue, and the label says "Dew infused with wild berry fruit flavor and ginseng."

Ready?

Here we go!

I'm opening the bottle....

Taking my first sip...

Hmmm...

The initial flavor is not very eventful. Nothing like the citrusy BURST that regular Dew has.

The berry flavor is only truly noticeable in the aftertaste. You sort of have to drink it, then exhale... then your mouth fills up with the intended flavor.

Kind of blueberry-ish.

I like blueberries. No complaints there. Blueberries are one of my absolute favorite fruits.

So the flavor is ok..... I just wish it was more intense up front, during that initial taste.

I also think the color is rather pale. It's a very light blue, almost clear. Not bright or festive at all. Just sort of plain.

Final verdict: Eh. It's ok. I might buy it again, just for the blueberry aftertaste.

I plan on trying the other two flavors and doing posts about them as well.

Oh, and in case you're still thinking about Mozart in a horrifying nuclear accident, here's what he would look like with five eyes:

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As long as the panda doesn't have rabies...

I have had so much happen to me (good AND bad) this past week, I am exhausted.
I'm so tired, I could audition for a new (albeit boring) reality show called "Janna's in a coma."

Hopefully I'd get the part anyway, just because I AM Janna, but still, it never hurts to be prepared.

Though I guess it might hurt if the preparation involved poison darts and panda bites.
I'll have to get back to you on that.

Please pardon me while I get some sleep.

P.S. "Panda Bites" sounds like a new kind of appetizer.

Thirteen Memories Of Ed

Today's post is a list of thirteen memories I have of my friend Ed Dryer.
As you remember from my Tuesday post, Ed passed away recently.

Most of my memories are from when we went to Adrian College together. I was there from 1989-1992, and he was there from 1988 til about 1990.

1. There was a TV room in the basement of our dorm. Ed loved this room. It was like his sanctuary. He could often be seen on the sofa in front of the TV, vegging out. It was in that basement that I saw my first MTV video. This, of course, was back in the days when MTV actually PLAYED VIDEOS.

2. About a block or two away from the dorm, there was a gas station/convenience store called "Wesco." Ed often would walk there in the evening, to get snacks. He loved Hawaiian Punch and would buy a 2-liter for himself. Sometimes I accompanied him on this walk; other times he was sweet enough to bring me back things. My favorite things were these little microwave pizzas. It wasn't grand cuisine, of course, but it was quick and easy. They were tiny deep-dish pizzas about the size of a frozen waffle. Small but good. After procuring our stash of snacks, Ed and I would sit in the front lobby of the dorm and eat our goodies while reading or studying or just chatting. Good times.

3. His feet stank. Apparently they were far more pungent than those of mere mortal man. They had a reputation. The guys who lived in his corridor swore that the smell crept out from under his door and permeated the entire hallway. And... um.... yeah, I have to say, it honestly did. He did his best to quell the problem, but swore that no matter what he tried, nothing worked.

4. One of the first things I noticed when I met him was that he liked to have his socks match his shirt. After the third or fourth time I saw this, I commented to him, " Your socks match your shirt again today!". He just smiled and said "Always!"

5. He loved reading about vampires, and was especially fond of the Anne Rice novels. He made me want to read one, although I never got around to it. He loved talking about vampire tales and legends, and sometimes said he would like to get bitten so he could become one of the undead.

6. He started out as a history major, but didn't end up staying in college. He ended up working in landscaping, which seemed to fit him better. He seemed happy there. Other than the fact that the company truck was a hunk of junk, he spoke well of his landscaping job.

7. He was kinda bad with directions. When he gave me directions on how to get to his home in Howell, MI, he accidentally had me turn the wrong way. While I was lost, I saw a sign announcing that I had arrived in Hell. (Hell, Michigan, that is). I had fun teasing him about that. :)

8. He was one of those guys who preferred to print rather than to write in cursive. His printing was big and messy, but still he wrote me letters now and then. It was fun to read, because some of his words were extra BIG for emphasis.

9. There's a song by INXS that starts out with "Don't ask me.... what you know is true...." Somehow, one day, during a moment of silliness, we changed the words to "Don't ask me... what I'm doing!" Whenever we were doing something stupid or embarrassing, one of us would just start singing "Don't ask me.... what I'm doing...." And we would crack up.

10. He was a sorta heavyset guy, and he firmly believed that when he wore a winter coat and stocking cap, he looked exactly like Cartman from South Park.

11. One night we went to a park downtown and got drunk on wine coolers. (I know, I know, we were a couple of wusses). But we had such fun. One of us discovered that if you looked up at the stars while twirling around in a circle, it would make you REALLY dizzy. Especially dizzy while "under the influence". We giggled and laughed and started telling really DUMB jokes... jokes that were purposely stupid, just to see if the other person would laugh. (And of course we did.) Our favorite that night was this one:

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road?
A. To get to the barber shop!

I know, it makes no sense. Stupid as heck. But when you're drunk, trust me, this is utterly hilarious. I still laugh when I remember it.... even when I'm sober. :)

12. One night, when he and another friend and I were sitting on the front steps of the dorm, we noticed an ambulance loudly arriving toward the apartment community across the street from us. An elderly couple lived in one of the apartments. After what seemed like a long time, we saw the paramedics bring out one of the people on a stretcher and load him into the back of the ambulance. Rather than rushing loudly to the hospital with sirens wailing, however, the ambulance simply drove quietly away at a normal pace. We were silent for a moment, and Ed said what we were thinking:
"It's... not... going... very... ... fast." (He said it just that slowly, with a pause in between each word.) It was a bittersweet kind of humor, capturing our own mortality as well as our desire for the ambulance to at least TRY to go faster.

13. This is my very favorite memory of Ed, and I've saved it for last. One winter at college, there was a ton of snow. Ed and I were going through a stressful time, each with our own separate problems, and one night we walked out to the bell tower. One of us would find (or make) a big glob of snow or ice and stand right behind it.
First we'd announce "THIS IS FOR...."
...Then we'd announce one of the things that was irritating us...
Then, POW, full force, we'd proceed to kick that snow/ice ball into powder with a single blow.
Then it was the next person's turn. Find a mass of frozen stuff to kick, state something that was really bothering you, then KICK it as hard as you could. POW.
We stayed out there for over an hour, doing this, taking turns.
(Some topics got "kicked" more than once).
After awhile, we'd gotten into hurtful topics from our childhoods, family members that had hurt us, friends that had done bad things. Even abstract things that couldn't be nailed down easily, we still tried to form into words somehow before kicking.
It was very, very therapeutic and cathartic. Sort of like hitting a punching bag. People probably saw us and wondered what the heck we were doing, but it didn't matter. We were used to being "weird" and kind of enjoyed it. We felt a lot better afterward.
It was a combination of things: The physical catharsis of putting all our energy into each kick, plus the release of being able to SAY things aloud we might not otherwise have said at all, plus the knowledge that we were being heard and accepted by each other while doing so.
This is my favorite memory of all the time I spent with Ed.

He was good to me. He was a patient, tolerant, forgiving friend, and I miss him.
Thank you, Ed, for being my friend.
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Tomorrow, hopefully, I will be ready to get back to more humorous topics.
Thank you, to ALL of you who read down this far. That means a lot to me.
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Dona Nobis Pacem

I almost forgot that today is peace globe day!

Sorry about that. I've had a LOT on my mind lately.

Here's my globe.

If you haven't yet read my 1000th post, the one about my new computer, please go do that.

Also, if you haven't yet read about my friend Ed, please take a look at that as well. Tomorrow's post will be in remembrance of him.

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My 1000th Post

This is my one-thousandth post!

If you're reading this, that means my new computer is working properly. :)

There were a couple brief moments of frustration while hooking everything up, but the majority of it went smoothly enough.

Ways in which my cyber-life rapidly changed today:

Before: Windows 98, the FIRST edition.
Now: Windows XP. (I've been warned to stay away from Vista)

Before: Pentium II processor.
Now: Intel Celeron E1200 1.6Ghz LGA 775 65W Dual Core processor. (Important note: I have no clue what any of that means; I'm simply copying it off the piece of paper here).

Before: One of those giant cumbersome monitors that is the size of a TV set.
Now: One of those cool-looking flat monitors! It takes up hardly any space, yet the screen appears huge!

Before: 13.5 Gig hard drive.
Now: My uncle built this for me, custom made, and I don't fully understand this, but he says it has two separate hard drives on it, sort of. The C-drive is purposely kept relatively small so it will run Windows fast and efficiently. But then there's the D-drive, which has 80 Gigs of space. Eighty! I realize there are even larger ones out there, but still, wow!

Before: CDrom that wouldn't work any more. Couldn't listen to CD's, couldn't utilize software.
Now: Brand new CD and DVD player, which not only PLAYS stuff but can actually write stuff onto disks too. I'm listening to a CD right now, as I type this.

I realize that the rest of humanity already had this technology in their homes many years ago. Finally I seem to have caught up. :) From what I understand, there is other stuff out there too, like fire and the wheel, that I might also like to explore.

I plan on spending the evening exploring just what else this marvelous machine can do. I also plan on visiting blogs and websites I couldn't visit before, because they kept freezing up the old computer. Facebook was particularly frustrating because it would inevitably freeze up whenever I scrolled down a page. Yahoo would give me trouble a lot too.

So, here goes! Wish me well!

Oh, and did I mention this is my 1000th post? :)

Nice coincidence, that my thousandth post just happened to be my very first post on the new computer.

Stay tuned tomorrow, when my Thursday Thirteen list will be a tribute to my friend Ed.
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The day has arrived

Today is the day I pick up my new computer.
I'll be setting it up either today or tomorrow.
Here's hoping I can figure it out.
If you never hear from me again, it can only mean one of the following:

1) My new computer is not compatible with my brain waves.
2) My cats got jealous and peed on the new computer, shorting it out and leaving me without a window into cyberspace.
3) I got hit by a semi on the way to pick up the computer.
4) I got hit by a semi on the way home.
5) I got hit by a puny little motorbike, but it really packed a punch because it was traveling over 80 mph.
6) I am SO TIRED after staying up all night that I crashed into bed and am still sleeping.
7) I got so frustrated trying to hook the thing up, that I collapsed in a gelatinous heap on the floor and can now only utter simple monosyllabic words.
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Because I need to blog about this....

I'd been debating whether to put this on The Jannaverse, or on one of my lesser-trafficked blogs. It's not particularly funny, and is actually kind of sad.
Plus I first started talking about it on another blog anyway.

But in the end I decided it belonged here, because this blog is the one I cherish the most, and this story is really an inseparable part of me.

I don't know if that makes any sense.

But please, listen anyway.

I learned Monday that one of my friends died.

His name was Ed. We went to college together, and we were the same type of nerdy introverted outcast. We both loved sci-fi, we both wanted to write a novel someday, we both loved life in the country, we both loved reading, we both had a bizarre sense of humor that not everyone could appreciate. All day I've been remembering the "good" memories of my friendship with him, going back and forth between smiling and crying.

After college, we both kept in touch, through letters and e-mail and phone calls and visits. He was fun to spend time with. We had good times, going off on all sorts of tangents in our conversation. We could be wacky, and we could be horribly morbid. Either way, we understood one another.

Then, one day back in 2003, abruptly I stopped hearing from him. As time progressed, I became increasingly worried. I put a post on Jantrails (HERE), hoping that maybe someone would be able to let me know what happened.

Monday, I finally found out.
One of his old high school classmates e-mailed me to say that Ed had died.
He passed away just a few weeks ago, on May 14, 2008.
He was 38.... the same age as me.
Here is the obituary.

The classmate had found Ed's obituary, and had done a Google search of his name, trying to find more information. The search led him to my Jantrails post, which is how he found me. If I hadn't done that post, I'd still have no idea what happened.

I'd abruptly stopped hearing from Ed in 2003, so it was strange to hear that he passed away so recently, in 2008. I wonder, had he been sick for an extended period of time? Was he in the hospital? I knew he'd had heart trouble, and the obituary says that people were encouraged to donate to the American Heart Association, so does that mean he had a heart attack? I may never know what happened.

Since I didn't find out about this until June 2nd, I wasn't able to attend the funeral (which was on May 21st).
As it is, I'm going to try to find out what cemetery he's in, and see if I can visit him there to pay my respects. Not sure how to go about locating that, but I suppose e-mailing the funeral home is a good start.

To celebrate his life and the time I spent with him, I'm going to post a list of the good memories I have. The good and the strange and the bittersweet. A list that, in some small way, helps communicate to all of you what a unique person he was.
But not today.
Today I just need time to curl up and think about this.
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Manic Monday: Over

Today I learned the difference between "Sunny Side Up" and "Over Easy."
It's here on Wikipedia, in case you want to read up on it. There may be a test later.

I love eggs as long as they're fully cooked, so I guess my choice would be either hard-boiled, hard-poached, hard-fried, or scrambled.
Coincidentally, those terms have also been used to describe my brain.

I can't stand raw eggs or runny yolks, so I'd certainly hate "sunny side up".
I would, however, love to have this rug, which is in the shape of a fried egg with two cushions for yolks. It's designed by Valentina Audrito.

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