Thursday, April 12, 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Campaign Promises:
Thirteen Things I Will Do If Voted As THE FREAKIEST BLOGGER:

1) All gas station bathrooms will carry fluffy soft Charmin toilet paper, and if you ask him nicely, a burly truck driver will gladly give you a sponge bath before you leave.

2) I will paint your nails any color you want. I will also paint your toenails any color you want. I will even suck your toes, if you happen to be into that kind of thing.

3) Any fast food employee who is rude or inattentive will be taken out back and shot. If he forgot to include ketchup for your fries, he will be shot twice.

4) I will visit you at bedtime and sing you lullabies until you fall asleep. (Note: It doesn't count if you just pretend to be asleep so I'll leave).

5) Gummi bears will taste even better than before. (Travis, give them a chance!)

6) I will work on creating a special pill that will allow you to communicate with prairie dogs, paper plates, and carnations.

7) I will do everything in my power to see that we have flying cars by the year 2011.

8) I'll also see if I can get the flying cars to run on urine instead of gas.

9) If I ever meet you in person, I promise to either (A) Kiss you, or (B) NOT kiss you. (your choice!)

10) If you ever get hit by a bus, I promise to feel really, really bad about it.

11) Especially if I'm the one driving the bus.

12) I will write a brass/woodwind quintet dedicated to the casserole of your choice.

13) Cat poop will smell like lavender.

I hereby promise to give all these items the same attention that ALL our elected officials give to THEIR campaign promises after they're elected.

Now please, go vote for me. It's easy.
Click here to sign up.
Then go here and click next to my blog's name, where it says "vote"!
It only takes a moment.
Aren't flying urine-powered cars worth a moment of your time?



P.S. THANK YOU to the 14 people who have already voted for me. You made me smile. That's worth more than any campaign promise. :)

15 comments:

Mr. Fabulous said...

I have always wanted my toenails painted.

Turnbaby said...

I'm all over it. Can I vote again?

Irish Church Lady :) said...

6, 7 & 8 are my favourites!

You're my new favourite funny blogger.

I'm going to flog you on my blog for your Freakiest Blogger Vote.

What I'm trying to say is I support ya! ... just like hose.

bobbarama said...

You had me at No. 1 ... well, except for that burly truck driver thing. We'll need to work on that part.

Lynda said...

#13 has my vote, and you do too. At least, I hope I am one of the 13. I noticed some of my votes didn't take. I'll check again.

Now if the lavendar smell would just make my dog stop eating said cat poop.

Morgen said...

Dang, them are some good reasons.

Please don't suck my toes, or even paint them. I've got a "thing" about my toes. You can paint Travis' toes instead, ok???

PS: I stayed home yesterday because of the near-blizzard we had in the morning, so from the home computer I signed up Lee's name at the Blogger's Choice Awards, and I forced him at gunpoint (okay, I promised him McDonalds) to vote for you. You got a vote from Lee and he got a double cheeseburger, in my view you both won!

Lynda said...

Whew! I am one of the 14!

Janna said...

Mr. Fab: I can do that for you! Just ask! Well, no, VOTE for me first, THEN ask. :)

Turnbaby: Unfortunately, it's just one vote per e-mail address.

Irish Church Lady: Favorite? Wow!!! That is a huge compliment, because I know you read Fab too! Thank you; that is a big ego boost!!

Bobbarama: Rest assured that the burly truck driver will only sponge bathe you if you ASK him to.

Lynda: Your dog likes to eat lavender-scented poop?

Morgen: Hey, the promise of a double cheeseburger will take you a long way in life.

Lynda: Good! :) Now go tell Fab to vote for me so I can paint his toenails.

Morgen said...

Hey - I'm signing off for the day and just noticed --- you're the SEVENTH freakiest blogger in the whole blogosphere, currently!!!
Get your freak on, girl!

Oh, and I just presented you with a Major Award, too!
(Sorry it's not a Leg Lamp...)

Janna said...

Morgen: Seventh freakiest in the whole blogosphere? I can live with that, yes... But keep on voting anyway, people!! :) Maybe I can make it up to sixth!

Lynda said...

My dog likes to eat poop, scented or unscented. I just don't know how she feels about lavendar. LOL

Marilyn said...

That was the best TT I read this week. I'm still giggling. As soon as I figure out the registration thing, I'll vote for you and Mr. Fab and another guy. All different categories. I'll figure it out in the morning.

Janna said...

Lynda: Is there such a thing as unscented poop?

Marilyn: Thanks for stopping by; glad you liked the list. Thanks in advance for voting! :)

Travis said...

As to #5, NO!

As to #6, ROTFLMAO

As to #7, EWWWW

Janna said...

Travis: Show the gummi bears some love!!