Today's random thoughts

1) Some people have their Christmas lights up already!  C'mon, people; it's not even October yet!
2) I got a lot of cleaning done this morning and am totally exhausted.  I think a nap is in my near future.
3) I have a "Froogle" wishlist now!  I mean, I don't expect to ever actually receive anything from it, but still, it was fun to make.  I plan to add more things to it the next time I'm bored with life.  Here's the URL: http://froogle.google.com/shoppinglist?a=SWL&id=a1bdc0c1f8fc61276931d233fb6029ff2ddc2049

4) Our October-3rd band concert was cancelled because we just didn't have the music ready in time.  This is kind of a bummer, yet also a relief.  Our next concert will probably be in mid-to-late December.

5) Suddenly I'm craving Mexican food....

Pardon my drooling

Here's that Aurora Cellini fountain pen I mentioned in my wish list.
Sigh.
Isn't it gorgeous?
Those of you who've neen reading my blog from the beginning know that I love fountain pens.
I mean, if you're gonna spend $1195.00 on one pen, wouldn't this be a nice choice?
Better yet, spend $2390.00 and get two!!
Or spend $4780 and get....
... I know. I know, I have a problem.

Don't worry, I won't get my hopes up

And now, it's time for

Janna's Unrealistic Wish List

Since the shopping season is fast approaching, many of you are probably thinking, "How can I use my ever-growing wealth and prosperity to get Janna a truly magnificent present?"

Or maybe you're thinking, "I'm drop-dead broke this year, but maybe Janna will learn to appreciate this old beef jerky I found under the sofa."

Either way, here's my wish list full of

Things I Know I Will Probably Never Get:

1) Special edition palladium-finish "James Bond" fountain pen, by Dupont: $795.00

http://www.penseller.com/pages/dupont.htm

2) Don Quixote medium-nibbed fountain pen, by Laban: $280.00

http://www.isellpens.com/laban2.htm

3) Cellini Sterling fountain pen, by Aurora: $1195.00

http://www.penseller.com/pages/aurora.htm

http://www.penseller.com/pens/aurcellini2.jpg

4) Laptop PC, anything able to handle the Internet better than the desktop dinosaur I currently own

http://www.mypcsource.com/store/category/pentium4.html ...$700-$1300

5) Sibelius 4: Music Notation/Composition Software: $499.00

http://www.floridamusicco.com/proddetail~prod~sibelius631221.htm

6) Lawson 804NB Double French Horn in F/Bb (Nickel/Bronze): $10,065.00

http://www.lawsonhorns.com/Models.htm

http://www.lawsonhorns.com/pricelist.htm

Worse than E-Coli...??

(Note: This isn't MY salad; it's a picture I got in my e-mail from someone else.)
Ok. Click on the picture so you can see it full-size.
Look below the words "Fresco Lavado".
Notice anything?
(!!!)
Apparently the lettuce was washed in water that had tadpoles in it, and after awhile the tadpoles grew up!
Eeeeewww. So now all those leaves are covered with frog slime and frog pee and God knows what else.
Do any of you health-nuts out there STILL want salad????

Captain Jack is back

"I feel pretty... I feel pretty... I feel pretty and witty and...."

Random List of Ten Things I Did NOT Do Today

1) Run over a squirrel
2) Use public bathroom
3) Run for public office
4) Drink vodka
5) Wear purple
6) Learn German
7) Become a Republican
8) See a hurricane
9) Get a tattoo
10) Run over a Republican who was running for public office but didn't see me coming because he was too busy drinking vodka after he stumbled out of the public restroom with the German word for "hurricane" tattoed on his rear... in purple.

P.S. in case you're curious, the German word for hurricane is orkan.

The Jannaverse

I forgot to mention that the newest Jannaverse cartoon was posted on Monday, over at Morgen's Blog. Check it out and be sure to leave him a comment saying something like "Dear Morgen, thank you so much for posting Janna's cartoons. They are amazing and ever since I started reading them, the weird rash on my thigh has gone away. I told my great-aunt Hilda about Janna's cartoons, and now her leprosy is all cured! God bless you, Morgen, and bless Janna, too...."

The Trouble With Onions

I was going to begin this post by saying, "I've never cared for onions."
But then I realized that would be a lie.
I used to LOVE onions when I was a child. They were great! I could eat them raw and everything. I remember my grandmother had this dish that consisted of sliced cucumbers and sliced onions, layered in a dish. On top of it went a whole bunch of vinegar and some salt & pepper. That was it! I loved those, and I distinctly remember I would rarely bother with the cucumbers-- I'd pick out the onions with my bare fingers, happily eating them raw while the vinegar dripped down my chin. The onions were the best part, I thought, so why even bother with the cucumbers?
That was then.
Something strange must have happened when I hit adolescence. Something chemically weird must have hit me, and it happened almost overnight. All of a sudden one day I bit into a hamburger that had onions on it. Instantly the anti-onion revulsion hit me. I actually had to spit out the bite of hamburger; there was no way I could swallow it.
Somehow I had acquired a severe aversion to onions. And it was far more powerful than simply a case of "Oh, I just don't like those anymore." Onions were now able to make me sick. The very smell of them could make me throw up. I couldn't be in a room where onions were being sliced. Dishes I previously loved (like the aforementioned cucumbers and onions) were now 100% off-limits. Now I wasn't even able to eat a cucumber slice, if it had been swimming next to a piece of onion. Something about the oils/essence of a fresh onion produced a seriously negative reaction in my body. And that continues to this day.
If I accidentally bite into a piece of onion, I immediately stop chewing as I realize what has just happened. Sometimes I can force myself to at least swallow what I've already got in my mouth, sometimes I need to spit it out. Either way, I inevitably gag.
I remember a few years after this first happened, I was visiting my aunt for dinner. She was making lasagna. Someone must have told her I didn't eat onions. And she apparently didn't take that very seriously, because her solution was to blenderize the onions into a pulp and layer them on top of everything. It's as if she thought I just didn't like to look at them, and if I couldn't see them, I wouldn't notice.
Wrong.
Wrong.
Wrong.
One of my pet peeves is people who say "Oh, you can just pick the onions off; it's no big deal."
My response to this is: "If I took a crap on your pizza, would you just pick the turd off and eat it anyway?"
Even when the onion is picked off, the onion oils are still there. It can still be tasted. It can still make me sick.
It's as if I have acquired an allergy to onions. That's the only thing I can think of, since this aversion goes way beyond a simple "dislike". For example, I dislike beets and brussels sprouts, yet I'm sure if I was honestly starving within an inch of my life, I could at least eat them to stay alive. But onions are different. The gag-reaction it produces is so immediate, so violent, I honestly couldn't eat them, even to stave off starvation, whether I wanted to or not.
As a curious side note, I've noticed that the freshness of the onion has a direct correlation to the level of my aversion. I can not be in the same room as a freshly-cut onion. I absolutely will gag violently. No joke. But after the onion has been processed and re-processed and processed to death, I'm much more tolerant of it.
Onion powder, for example. I can easily eat things that have been seasoned with onion powder.
Sour cream and onion potato chips. Not a problem.
Funyuns. Not a problem.
Durkee canned-french-fried onions. Not a problem.
As far as onion rings go, well, that depends on how much the onions have been processed. If we're talking about freshly sliced and deep-fried onions-- the kind where you can still pull out an actual ring of onion from the batter, NO WAY. Not a chance. But if they're super-minced and processed into oblivion, like Burger King onion rings, well, those are ok. I have no problem with Burger King onion rings. (They make me fart like a motorboat, but that's another topic entirely).
So that's my whole sordid oniony past. It's odd how often I forget that I really used to love them.

Subway's "Cajun Blackened Steak"

Today I decided to try the new Subway "Cajun Blackened Steak".
It's tasty but not really all that spicy. (I know, you're all shocked to hear me say that.)
At first I was leery about trying it, because Subway steak items usually have onions grilled in with them, and I can't stand onions. So I asked the employee-lady about it, and was pleasantly surprised to hear that the Cajun Blackened Steak does not have anything else grilled with it. She also added that the item is "really spicy."
"Great!" I said. "Let's try that, then."
"You know it's really spicy, right?" She repeated.
"The hotter the better," I replied, trying to keep from rolling my eyes. All too often, another person's wimpy idea of "really spicy" is actually weak and pathetically plain when I give it a try.
The sub was tasty enough, as far as the steak went. It looks hotter than it really is, since it's encrusted with what appear to be a plethora of hot spices. Blah. Not hot. But still decent enough if you're simply in the mood for plain steak on a bun.

Gray skies and leftover pizza

I have no idea what to write about today, but I decided I should at least write about something, lest you all think I've become lost in the deep-watered world of cyberspace (or, worse yet, real life).
Today's weather is pleasantly glum and gray, raining intermittently. Mr. Weather-Guy said that some places may get severe thunderstorms with possible tornadoes later on. (!)
I'm trying (trying, mind you) to clean house today, but recently gave up in hopes of having at least some sanity retained. Plus, it was time for dinner. It's 6:00 in the evening and I haven't had anything to eat yet at all today. I'm hungry, so the leftover pizza I'm about to have will certainly taste like haute cuisine. It's baking in the oven right now. I know there are tons of people out there who don't mind eating cold pizza, but I hate it. In my opinion, pizza is supposed to be HOT. Always. Forever. Every time.
After dinner, I'll probably surf around on the computer or play some games, maybe curl up with a good Calvin and Hobbes book (Were there any bad ones??), then reluctantly return to the drudgery of laundry and cleaning.
Other, younger, more social people in the world are undoubtedly getting ready for fun parties and dates and life-changing experiences... and here I am at home, keeping out of the rain and eating leftover pizza.
85% of me doesn't really feel like I'm missing out.

And you thought he didn't notice....

Bushy Policies

Caffeine

I've never been much of a coffee-drinker.
I do like coffee-flavored things, like frozen cappucino smoothies, coffee ice cream, and coffee chocolates. But as a hot beverage, I've never cared for it.
This means I must get my caffeine elsewhere!
Favorite sources include Mountain Dew and Jolt! How many of you have tried Jolt? It was pretty much a staple in college. Their slogan was "All the sugar and twice the caffeine." Drink a six-pack of Jolt and watch yourself zip around the room like a hummingbird! Type a term paper! Type three! Go for a walk! Tap dance! Blink 90 times a minute! Laugh like a maniac! Hahahahahahahaha! Happy lovely pretty wonderful Jolt.

Switching to Flickr

It's 1:00 in the morning and I just got done transferring all my geocities blog-photos onto flickr instead. Geocities was being a real [insert uncomplimentary word here], allowing only a small amount of data-transfer per hour before shutting down the site. (They do this to encourage people to abandon the free plan and switch over to the plans which allow more transfer... the thing is, those plans AREN'T free.)
So if my data-transfer limit was exceeded, nobody could see the geocities-based pictures I'd put on my blog. (Like the ones from band, the cemetery, the fountain pens, and others). If any of you ever had a problem viewing some of the pictures here, that was probably why.
I learned about flickr by seeing it used on other blogs, and decided to give it a try myself.
So far, so good.
Whenever possible, I still prefer uploading pictures directly onto blogger, but if it's a post with multiple pictures, I know from experience that Netscape will freeze up on me when I hit "Publish Post." So for those posts I store the pictures on other sites instead, and just link to them remotely.
The first time I saw the word flickr was on D's blog: she referred to it as "Flickr Blogging", which I thought was hilarious because it looked like "Booger Flicking."

After Band on Tuesday....

After band and ABC group, some of us stayed around (as usual) to be silly and corrupt each other's minds and... well, you get the idea.
I took my camera with me again, and some of the pictures actually turned out decent, so here we go.
Above: Morgian was making funny fish-faces to tease Kyle while he was sucking on the hookah. I tried getting a good picture of it but instead she looks more like she's saying "Touch me and I will kill you. Come near me and I will kill you. Look at me and I will kill you. And it will hurt." (Note to self: Either stay on Morgian's good side or learn to take better pictures)Here... this is a MUCH better picture of Morgian! She looks sweet and friendly, as if she's not secretly thinking of killing anyone at all!Kyle brought the hookah again, and this week's flavored tobacco was raspberry. I didn't try it, but it really smelled wonderful. I know it's weird that it doesn't stink to high heaven like most smoke does, but really, it's actually pleasant. Here are more hookah-pictures:

Above: Doesn't he look just SO shy and innocent? Like he's turning away so he can smoke raspberries in private...
And, speaking of private, that brings us to this next photo... I was going to say it exhibited "questionable taste", but that would just set me up for a whole BUNCH of jokes:Moral of the story: Be careful where you hold the hookah-hose; someone else may want to use it really bad! As weird as this looks in the picture, believe me, it was far more entertaining in person.
Last but not least, there's this picture of Kyle. Now, I swear he looked completely normal when I snapped the picture, but look at this!
Scary, isn't it? Can't tell if he's evil or insane or alien, or all of the above! (I had no idea evil insane aliens could play the flute so well!)

Honeynut

Here's a cute picture of Honeynut before I leave for band this evening....

Behold!

See? Here they are. Don't you just LOVE them? Don't you just want to munch them and savor them and cry happy tears while the fire burns its way into your digestive tract? These things are amazing. I love them. Did I mention I love them? I love them.
Perhaps someday I will find an even hotter chip out there somewhere that I will love even more, but for now, I nod happily and tearfully toward these little gems.
If anyone knows of anything hotter, please share.

Hot Things

I found some Jay's Extra-Hot chips today!
They were at a Speedway convenience store in Coldwater, Michigan.
I found three bags in stock, and bought all three.
(Remember, they're only available in the little 99-cent size, which is presumably the largest dose they expect any human to endure at one sitting).
So hooray! I found them!

I also found this great blog by someone who calls herself "The Chippie". She seems to have the same tastes I do, as far as "HOT" things go. I love the story about how she tortured her little sister with a jalapeno pepper. I agree with her that the "Flamin' Hot" chips are really not all that hot at all. Best of all is her list of ten ways to tell whether something qualifies as "HOT" or not. I agree completely! Rock on, sister!

Years ago there was this wonderful seasoning in a shaker. It was called "Blair's Death Rain." I loved it. It was this wonderful habanero stuff that made my eyes water and my nose run. I cried happy tears. I loved it. Did I mention I loved it? I loved it. Well, years later I found a brand of potato chips that claimed to be seasoned with "Blair's Death Rain." Imagine my disappointment when I tried them and found that they were nowhere NEAR as hot as the stuff in the shaker. It was as if they "dumbed them down" so the general public could tolerate them.

Bah.

The general public is weak, weak, weak.

Quote for today

My new e-mail signature quote:
"Wait! Come back! There's a part of my
face you haven't stepped on yet!"
--Ashleigh Brilliant

Lays's "Hot 'n' Spicy" BBQ

Today I tried "Lay's KC Masterpiece Hot 'n' Spicy BBQ" chips.
My verdict: Good barbecue flavor, but in my opinion, they're not really hot. They're medium at best. I still prefer the "Jay's EXTRA-Hot" chips, which unfortunately still remain elusive. (I actually wrote the company a letter asking them where the extra-hots are sold in my area! They haven't responded yet. Maybe after they finish laughing...)

Ugly dream

I had a weird dream during a nap this afternoon.

The main character in the dream wasn't me, but instead I was seeing things through the eyes of some other person. She was in her late teens/early twenties, beautiful, petite, thin, blonde, and her family was rich. Basically the "every-straight-guy's-dream" kind of girlfriend. Her family consisted of totally different people from mine. She even had brothers. (I'm an only child). I recognized no one's face at all in this entire dream.

(So, when I say "I," I'm actually referring to what I saw through this other person's eyes, ok?) Here's the dream:

"I" was engaged to this guy... he was about the same age as me, maybe one or two years older. He was, in stark contrast, NOT the typical fashion-model type of guy. He wasn't particularly handsome, and WAS rather overweight. But none of this mattered to "me", I loved him anyway, and we got engaged to be married on Thanksgiving.

I took him to meet my family, who seemed to be ok with him.

Then I came down with some illness and it turned out that I had to have emergency surgery on the day before Thanksgiving. (Something like appendicitis... serious emergency but still routine for hospitals to deal with). During this time my fiancee was totally supportive and loving and stayed by my side. I grew to love him even more.

Well, in the magic unrealistic world of dreams, it somehow turned out that I was ALL healed up and ready to get married on Thanksgiving. My fiancee and I were riding down a dirt road (not sure if we were in a car or a horse-drawn carriage), and I said something to the effect of "You should be grateful for this, because we both know I'm WAY out of your league." (!!!) I remember he looked surprised and hurt when I said that.

After the wedding, we went back to my family's house. I thanked him for being so supportive while I was in the hospital, and gave him a big hug. I suggested a spot for our honeymoon (I don't remember where it was; I just named some city).

His response: "Oh, good! While we're there, I can visit my son."

??!! I immediately stepped back and looked at him in shock. What son?? He'd never mentioned ever being married to anyone else OR having children with anyone at all. This was the first I'd ever heard of it and I was really taken aback.

But it was nothing compared to my family's reaction. The men in the family were furious. "My" grandfathers and uncles and brothers gathered around. A grandfather asked if I knew about this "son".

"I had no idea about any of that!" I swore, genuinely shocked.

Well, the men in my family were very old-fashioned, and considered it unforgivable that my new husband would have slept with anyone at ALL before ME. I was supposed to be his FIRST. Ever. Anything else was unacceptable and unforgivable.

So they ganged up on him, mob-style, and took him out back and beat him half to death. They left him a few miles from our house, battered and bleeding on a park bench, and I never saw him again. The wedding was considered to be 'null and void'. I was left with the impression that he eventually died from his severe wounds.

Isn't that awful? What a terrible thing to dream! How cruel!

I'm even embarrassed to blog about it, despite the fact that the lady in the dream was not me!

Scary Thought

Scary Thought About Being 36:
If I'd had a baby when I was 18,
That "baby" would be graduating from high school this year!!

Guess what decade it was when I was a teenager!!

You Scored 90% Correct

You are an 80s expert You never confuse New Order with the Pet Shop Boys You know which classical musician Falco rocked When it comes to 80s music, you Just Can't Get Enough!

How Much Do You Know About 80s Music?

How Vain Are You?

You Are 13% Vain

You don't have a vain bone in your body - almost as a matter of principle. You demand to be judged on who you are, not what you look like.

How Vain Are You?

Ten Things One Should Not Do In The Shower

1) Fix a Toaster
2) Drop the soap
3) Look up while inhaling
4) Tap-dance
5) Eat a sandwich
6) Check e-mail
7) Read books
8) Juggle Ginsu-knives
9) Play violin
10) Wear suede

Homecoming

This evening I was driving around in Jonesville. Jonesville's where I grew up, and it's only about 10 miles or so from where I currently live, so I go there often. Well, this evening around 6:30 I was approaching one of the main intersections (We have, like, TWO), and saw a whole bunch of people of various ages gathered along the street.
"What is this?" I wondered aloud to myself. "What's wrong?"
Then I heard a fire engine blast its horn and saw it slowly inch through the intersection, flashing its lights. "Weird," I thought, and pulled over to the side of the street. I sat and watched for a moment longer before realizing what it was all about.
This was no fire-related tragedy. This was the start of a parade.
The Jonesville High School homecoming parade.
This should give you some idea of how uninvolved I am in my alma mater; I didn't even know homecoming was tonight. I vaguely remember what homecoming was like in the olden days when I was a student. I was in band, and therefore had to march in the parade, and attend the football game, and be in Pep Band, and play at halftime, blah blah blah. I am not exactly a team-spirit person and football might as well involve a kangaroo and a pair of tweezers, for all I care.
But I digress.
So I was watching the little parade for our little school, and sure enough, there was the band, marching by. Except they weren't playing anything, they were just marching to a cadence and shouting "GO!" now and then. Eventually I heard the drum-major's whistle, and the startup cadence, and then they played the school fight song. Once. Just once, no more. (When I was in band, marching in junk like that, we'd play the fight song at least three times throughout the parade). And their uniforms, oh my goodness... the uniforms looked so normal, compared to the weirdo stuff we had to wear back in the mid 80's. Rather than the usual marching band uniform one would typically think of, these things we had were freaky. They were some kind of hot uncomfortable wool/polyester stuff, in orange and WHITE, (odd, since our school colors were orange and BLACK), with bell-bottom pants and a cape. Bell-bottoms! A cape! As if we were orange hippie superheroes masquerading as marching-band people. (Yeahhh... here come the flashbacks.) So poor Janna, with her pleasingly plump figure, wearing this uniform.... I looked kinda like a cross between Roseanne Barr, Superman, and a Florida orange.
Those were the days.... I think I need therapy now.
But, back to the parade...
After the band went by, there were the cheerleaders ("ooh, rah-rah-rah, I have exactly three functioning brain cells... here's hoping they don't fall out when I do cartwheels later on..."), then there were the homecoming floats. I remember two of them, the other two must not have been that memorable.
#1) Guy dressed as The Grinch, standing next to a Christmas Tree and a football goalpost, with a sign that said "Jonesville Stole The Victory!" (I don't know... wouldn't it be better if we earned the victory fair and square?)
#2) Guy dressed in football uniform. Another guy dressed as "Uncle Sam", holding a big styrofoam stick, beating up on the football guy. I have no IDEA what the theme was for that one, though I admit I'm curious....
Then there were other nameless parade participants dressed in Halloween costumes (Hello, isn't it still September?).
And, just like that, just a few short minutes after the parade started, it was over! Short and sweet! (Well, short, anyway.) But it still felt twilight zoney, like I had momentarily been transported back about twenty years. Today was the first time I'd heard the high school "Fight Song" since... well, since high school.
I still hate parades.
And homecoming.
And football.
But at least I don't have to wear capes in public anymore.

Random List of Ten Things I Did NOT Do Today:

1) Watch sports
2) Run around naked in the front yard
3) Buy a plane ticket to Jamaica4) Get pregnant
5) Chew on aluminum foil
6) Drink poison7) Agree with George Bush
8) Build a time machine
9) Visit relatives
10) Spontaneously combust

Some musicians just like to practice more than others....

This is either an extremely devoted musician, or someone who takes the whole left-brain/right-brain thing VERY seriously....
How does he steer?

Sleep-Deprived Haiku

Thoughts echo in space
Far from any hope of sleep
Three in the morning

Suspenseful Haiku

All was so quiet
I had nothing to tell you
And then came the storm...

Another Migraine

Hate migraines.
Had another one today.
Aching and barfing and aching and barfing.
Miserable miserable miserable.
Thank you for listening.

Writers, Ink

Morgen had this really great idea a week or so ago...
He suggested we start a blog devoted to fiction (both reading and creative writing).
So here we go!
It's called Writers, Ink.
We're having a short story contest for Halloween. Check it out!
This will be great!

Pyrites Of The Caribbean

Morgen sent me this. I love it.

My picture project for today

An appropriately-gray picture for an appropriately-gray day.

Let's hear it for chilly and dismal!

Today is a perfectly lovely day out there.
And by "perfectly lovely," I mean it's wonderfully chilly and gray and rainy. Temps in the mid-60's. This is MY kind of weather. Keep it cool! It's like "God's Air Conditioning." (For those of us who don't have or can't afford the man-made version.) I almost decided to take the camera out to another cemetery, but instead I think I'll curl up indoors with a comfy blanket and a nice book. And a purring cat. And maybe some tea.
It's supposed to get colder as the evening progresses, with the possibility of more rain.
I think of that, and there is a smile of contentment on my face.
Everyone out there, brew a pot of tea and join me. (Matt-man, you can spike yours with some WIR if you want to.)

Once in awhile something REALLY irritates me....

I found this in the sidebar of a totally unrelated webpage I was visiting. (Actually the webpage was about suicide notes).
I don't know if this is meant to be a joke or not, but I find it highly offensive on SO many levels, right down to those LAST THREE WORDS.
Not funny.

If a card falls...

I went to the store this afternoon to get some bottled water and some stuff for dinner. While waiting in line at the checkout, I noticed this little old lady ahead of me. She picked up a magazine off the rack, and one of those annoying 'subscription cards' fell out onto the floor. She looked down, noticed it laying there, seemed to give it a moment of thought, then ignored it and went on about her business.
At first, I thought "Geez, how irresponsible." Then I thought, "Y'know, I really hate those little cards and I doubt I'd bend over to pick one up either."
And I kept vacillating between the two opinions. On one hand, those cards are nothing but a nuisance, and a magazine with ONE missing can hardly be considered damaged merchandise. On the other hand, someone's eventually got to pick that card up, and I feel sorry for the store employee who has to be the one to do it. Yet, isn't that partly what they're paid for...?
And I have to admit my actions would probably depend on whether someone was watching. If no one was there, I'd be much more likely to let the card remain on the floor. If someone was behind me noticing my response, I'd be more likely to make the effort to appear responsible and pick up the 'trash'. Yet this little old lady didn't seem to care whether I was watching or not. She left the card there, with no apologies.
How about you? What would you have done?

How Is Your Inner Child?

Yes... I can believe this...

Your Inner Child Is Scared

Like a kid, you tend to shy away from new experiences. You prefer what's tried and true - novelty is scary! New foods, new places, and new friends are difficult for you to deal with. Some say you're predictable, but you enjoy being comfortable.

How Is Your Inner Child?

How are your English skills?

Yikes! Clearly I need to start reading a few dictionaries so I can work on my vocabulary!

Your English Skills:

Grammar: 100% Punctuation: 100% Spelling: 100% Vocabulary: 60%

Does Your English Cut the Mustard?

Love Lanquage Quiz

The Five Love Languages

My primary love language is probably
Words of Affirmation
with a secondary love language being
Physical Touch.

Complete set of results

Words of Affirmation:		9
Physical Touch:		7
Quality Time:		6
Acts of Service:		4
Receiving Gifts:		4

Information

Unhappiness in relationships, according to Dr. Gary Chapman, is often due to the fact that we speak different love languages. Sometimes we don't understand our partner's requirements, or even our own. We all have a "love tank" that needs to be filled in order for us to express love to others, but there are different means by which our tank can be filled, and there are different ways that we can express love to others.

Take the quiz

Ten Random Pet Peeves For Today:

1) Tailgaters
2) Laundry piles that double in size as soon as my back is turned
3) Computers that freeze up
4) Bad service at restaurants
5) Perfectly good TV programs getting pre-empted by sports crap
6) Back pain
7) Migraines
8) Our idiot President
9) Dogs that slobber and jump and breathe on people
10) Guys who are only interested in thin women

Not quite as cute as the kitten picture......

In the interests of fairness, it's only right that I post a DOG picture now.
This is also the reason some people wake up with "morning breath"....

Awwwwwww..........

My mom sent me this c-u-t-e picture.
I don't know whose cat it is; it's one of those pictures that gets forwarded around to anyone & everyone. So maybe you've all already seen it, but I just couldn't resist posting it.
Good advice: Never trust anyone who hates cats.

Random Thoughts

Hey! I was getting all excited about the cooler autumn days and the pleasant chilliness, and then Mother Nature pulls a cruel joke like this on me.
It got up in the mid-80's today.
The 80's were a great decade with great music, but not a good number to see on the thermometer.
Here are a few random thoughts:
1) Yesterday I went to Broad Street Market in Hillsdale, in hopes that they still carried the Jay's Extra Hot Stuff potato chips. Imagine my horror when I realized they had none! None at all! Not even a blank spot on the rack where they USED to be! I thought about asking the cashier-lady about them, but was too worried about looking/sounding peculiar. (As if that's ever bothered me before).
2) Also, while in line at the market, I was casually looking behind the counter at all the bottles of liquor/wine stacked up against the wall. Having nothing better to do while the cashier rang up my stuff, I tried scanning the bottles for "Wild Irish Rose". (Kind of an alcoholic version of "Where's Waldo") I could've sworn it was there last time, but not this time! Matt-man, were you there just before I arrived???
3) I hate Wild Irish Rose... (Sorry, Matt-man; it's true, please forgive me.) This is because it was the first thing I ever got D-R-U-N-K on, back in college. Yeccchhh. It was also the source of my very first hangover, and my realization that perhaps this whole drunken reveling was not all it was cracked up to be. I rarely drink nowadays. It happens, don't get me wrong, but it's rare. The "tipsy-ness" is nice, but I can do without the headaches and the barfing and the waking up next to hairy dwarves with pointy toenails and bad breath... (oh, wait... maybe that was my cat.)
4) Bizarre thing... remember the post where I said my car's "Check Engine" light was on? Well, for no apparent reason, it's OFF now. Just like that! And I didn't even DO anything! Wow! Wonder what that was all about?

She's Alive.... Sort of

Hey... it's me...
I'm still here.
In an admirable spirit of democracy, my brain has decided to offer "Equal Opportunity" headaches. Last week it was on the RIGHT side, this week it's on the LEFT.
If one interprets this politically, one could say last week I felt like I was being stomped by an elephant, whereas this week I'm being kicked by a donkey.
Back when I (a) had a doctor and (b) could afford medication, there was this wonderful prescription stuff called FROVA. It worked wonders on my migraines. Obliterated them completely. It was amazing. Other migraine meds worked too, like Relpax, Avert, and Zomig. Curiously enough, the number-one selling migraine medication, Imitrex, did NOTHING for me. It didn't work at all, and sometimes even seemed to make the pain/nausea worse.
So of COURSE the only prescription migraine medication my health card would cover was... you guessed it... Imitrex. If I was rich beyond my wildest dreams I'd gladly pay cash for the Frova. It works beautifully, but it costs about a hundred bucks for nine pills.
(!!!)
Yeah, believe it or not. About ten bucks per pill.
Isn't that terrible?
One more gripe before I go lay down: "Excedrin Migraine" is nothing more than regular Excedrin with fancy packaging. Look at the ingredients.
Ok. Enough of my pharmaceutical misery.
I'll try to be more entertaining next time.

Migraine

I had an ugly nasty migraine today, which still hasn't gone away completely...
Made these pictures so you can all see what my head feels like.

Even villains like seeing their names in the paper

Morgen sent me this... it seems that The Black Onion has been busy.
I better start working on my alibi...

Quote for today:

"As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way."
--Jack Handey,
Deep Thoughts

Lost and Found

I have a confession to make.
A few days ago I realized I LOST JACK!
Jack was gone; I couldn't find him anywhere!
I came to this realization a few days ago when Morgen suggested I take Jack on my next "Let's take pictures at the cemetery" trip.
"What a great idea!" I thought.
And that's when it dawned on me that I had no clue where poor Jack was.
"Oh, NO!" I said. (Actually I said something a little more colorful than that, but you get the idea.)
I was embarrassed to admit it, because it seems like I'm always losing things. Morgen and Lee like to joke that one of my most frequent phrases is "Um, I know it's around here somewhere..."
I looked everywhere. Heck, I even looked in the fridge. No Jack.
Well, this evening I decided I was in the mood for one of my little bags of Xtra-Hot potato chips. I reached into the grocery bag to pull out a bag of chips, and to my utter shock and surprise I FOUND JACK in there! Yay! I found Jack! But I swear I do not remember putting him in with the potato chips! How the heck did he get in there??? Did he get the munchies and wander in there on his own?
Welcome back, Jack. Now if I could just find the zillion other things I seem to have lost.
I know they're around here somewhere.....

Sympathy for Pluto

Dear Pluto:
My condolences on your loss of planethood.
If you need a listening ear and are ready to talk about it, give me a call. Please don't call collect, though: I can't afford the interplanetary rates.
Oops, er, I mean, the inter-celestial-body rates.
Sorry about that.

Now all I need is a comic book....

Remember the Fire-Fart picture I posted yesterday?
Stak left an insightful comment, saying how actually that isn't a downfall but a potential bonus. He said he would gladly use the "gift" as a superpower with which to fight crime.
I hadn't thought of that! Hmmm!
Maybe I could be a superVILLAIN instead of a superHERO... I think the villains have more fun...
We already decided in a previous post that my Supervillain Name is "The Black Onion," so just imagine how bad those farts would be...
I'd have Superman quivering on the ground in no time at all....